Random Acts of Thursday - My Low Resolution Makes Me Blurry

I have never been one for New Year's Resolutions. I cannot resolve to do less of the bad things and more of the good things, my willpower just doesn't roll that way. However, I can resolve the following:

I resolve to be nerdier than ever in 2010. Put your thinking caps on, there are quizzes to be answered and perhaps more prizes to be won.

I resolve to be as amusing as I can possibly be to satisfy the needs of you, dear readers. More reminiscing about the fat kid I was, and more amusing anecdotes from the fat guy I am.

I resolve to eat more pie. We're less than a month away from National Pie Day, you know...

I resolve to go on being as perfect as I already am.

Here's wishing you a safe and happy New Year's Eve. Remember, it's amateur night. Designated drivers and couch crashing are the in thing.

Movie Mania Monday - Real locomotives and B29's

Here's hoping you had a wonderful holiday week, (Not A Wonderful Life, Frank Capra be damned.) and congratulations to Samsmama, who correctly identified last week's quote from A Miracle on 34th Street.

Welcome now to this week's quote! Remember the rules. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Jeeves, either you know the quote or you don't. The prize is a Major Award and consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser):

You know I like the rough stuff, don't you?

Allez guessing!!!

Happy Boxing Day!!!

Our great nation succumbs once again to the ogre of commercialism today, scarcely spending 24 hours with our loved ones, remembering ever so slightly the birth of our Lord's son as we stuff our faces with ham, pickled herring, salted nuts and Jell-O salad. Today is far more Christmas-like than the rainy gloom Wisconsin has bestowed upon our visit the past few days, as it snows gently as I look out to the countryside outside my mother-in-law's home.

Elsewhere, though, the burgeoning crowds line up to return their gifts, along with an assortment of used roasters and mysteriously stained tablecloths that they're certain were that way when they bought them.

Two seasons working retail the day after Christmas have hardened me. What can I say?

Enough of that, though, as we now move on to last week's winners! I could have hoped for more competition (since that would have meant more followers as well), but how could I go wrong with three strong respondents?
In first place, scoring 80% PLUS answering the Bonus Question, Nej is the Winner Most Exalted of the Mo's Bacon Chocolate bar by Vosges. Merry Christmas!!

In second place, we have a tie! Yet another Christmas miracle. Ah, to bestow bacon-y cheese upon my friends, it warms the heart. Both Bev and Sarah scored 65%, and still an impressive score since you faithful quizzees know I don't pull punches with my questions.

Of course, these winners would be so without prizes, and you should be reading each of their blogs as regularly as possible.

Dare I post the correct answers? (Dare! Dare!) Because I'm about educating you about the trivial bits and bobs of the world, here are the correct and preferred answers to the quiz:

1) Which late Canadian actor starred in films about both Thanksgiving and Christmas, among his other works? John Candy (Thanksgiving: Planes, Trains and Automobiles, Christmas: Home Alone)

2) Which American actor starred in one of those films after playing a supporting role with him one year earlier? Macaulay Culkin (Uncle Buck before Home Alone)

3) What does 'Mele Kalikimaka' mean, and what film brought the Bing Crosby version of this song to a new generation of listeners? It's Hawaii's way to say 'Merry Christmas' to you! The song featured in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

4) Far more well-known, White Christmas is nearly synonymous with Bing Crosby. In which two films did he perform this song? Holiday Inn (1942), and the eponymous White Christmas (1954)

5) Name two other films where the song is used in its recorded form. Mother Night (based on the Kurt Vonnegut book) and Bye Bye Brasil

6) Identify the actor who played Adolf Eichman in one of those films, in addition to playing another Nazi in an earlier movie. (Check previous 'RAoT' posts for a hint...) Henry Gibson played the voice of Adolf Eichman in Mother Night, in addition to being an Illinois Nazi in the Blues Brothers (also starring John Candy, by the way.)

7) How many bottles of Frooney Green Eye Wash would one need in one's medicine cabinet to qualify for the beautiful silver tea service and a night on the town with Alfred Hitchcock? One would need ten bottles of eye wash, in addition to answering a simple question, which I believe may have involved rugby.

8) After playing the Devil (hereinafter known as George Spiggot), in what 1987 film did Peter Cook play a far holier character? The Princess Bride, wherein Cook played the minister.

9) In which 1985 film did Dudley Moore, Cook's frequent collaborator, play one of Santa's elves? Santa Claus - the movie

10) As if playing Santa Claus in that film wasn't a big enough role, what 'big' character did David Huddleston go on to play? Jeffrey 'The Big' Lebowski

Bonus Question: Anita Ekberg's portrait graced Krilenku's hideout in From Russia with Love, her mouth concealing an excape hatch.

I don't know about you, but I thoroughly enjoyed our little Quiz-mas. May your days be merry and bright, and may your day after Christmas, like mine, be white.

Random Acts of Thursday - Santa Claus is coming to town

Happy Christmas Eve! As the real Santa is beating his elves while they polish the sleigh and clean up reindeer poop, I thought it only appropriate to give you another holiday quiz, this time themed around jolly old St. Nick himself.

This time of year, we're all accustomed to seeing psuedo-Clauses everywhere, unless you manage to avoid ever leaving your house or turning on the television. I even had one following me on my way home from work one day, and the Jeep may have thrown off lesser people, but if you have a fluffy white beard, wire-rim glasses, and you're driving in a red velvet coat and hat accented by white gloves, you're ass is getting spotted. You're watching me? Yeah, I'm watching you too, fat man....

Oops...got off-topic there a tad. That's okay, I can find dozens of uses for coal.

Anyway, many of our beloved Santa Claus memories don't stem from sitting on a creepy alcoholic's lap just to be rewarded with a sticky, previously opened candy cane (or is that just me?), but from the American film industry. With that in mind, listed below are some beloved film characters who have, among the more than 700 other actors listed on IMDB, portrayed Santa Claus at one point in their illustrious careers.

Your task is to identify 1) the actor and 2) the film where they donned red velvet for the enjoyment of young and old. For your benefit, the year(s) they played Santa are listed next to their other character name.

Waring Hudsucker (1989, 1996x2, 2002)
Capt. Albert Wiles (1947)
Albert Blossom (1994)
Jeffrey Lebowski (1985)
Buzz Lightyear (1994)
Harvey Pekar (2007)
Frank Bass (1996, 2003)

I'd love to give you a bonus question, but since it's likely going to revolve around the Coen Brothers (WI natives and creators of two characters listed above), I figure you'll probably want a pass on that, anyway.

Merry Christmas!

Ayyyyyy...

Because I am in the land of my youth, the land of beer and cheese, and consequently nostalgic about my childhood, I am wont to recall my fondest memories of Happy Days, especially the Christmas episode from Season 1. Which brings up a philosophical question.

Has jumping the shark 'jumped the shark'? How many of today's youth could pick Arthur Fonzarelli out of a lineup? How many emo kids would just look crossways at you and cut you with the shards of a 'Panic! At the Disco' CD if you told them to 'sit on it'?

Sure, my growing sense of mortality is a recurring theme here at CDS Enterprises, and I'm not going to recount all of the other 'Those Damn Kids' items, like the invention of the Walkman and CD. But I will wax nostalgic about the television of my youth, the shark-jumping, talking Trans Am, Whatchoo Talkin' 'Bout WIllis, carefree days of letting my brain slowly melt out of both ears while the vacuum tubes etched my sillhouette into the wall behind me.

Sadly, in this day of reality-driven shows where today's hot new topic is tomorrow's Justin Guarini (and no, I'm not going to spell-check that, because I don't want it in my browser history.) There's no curve of inevitable disappointment to follow, because there's no public committment to a progressive storyline. Would anyone care if suddenly Jeff Probst were joined by a Cousin Oliver, because Neilsen ratings showed ratings slipping in the 18-24 single mother demographic? He'd be like Tattoo to Probst's Mr. Rourke.

And why is it always a small tow-headed child? Cousin Oliver, the creepy kid on Growing Pains (the one that WASN'T Leo DiCaprio...), Seven on Married...With Children, Nicky and Alex on Full House...what the hell, people?

And ultimately, did Fonzie really kill Happy Days? He's Fonzie, dammit! I think the real harbinger of doom is Ted McGinley. Happy Days? Ted McGinley in a Wisconsin sweater. Love Boat? Ted McGinley in white shorts. Married...With Children? Ted McGinley. As such, I will only accept two options henceforth to describe the death of a previously beloved television series: either it's been McGinleyed, or they pulled a Cousin Oliver.

I'd fill her house. Just sayin.

On the flip-side, there aren't nearly enough shows that give us the quality of programming genius like BJ and the Bear. I was eight, and I knew this was a kick-ass show. As if season one wasn't enough (I mean, a monkey AND truckers with hot CB lingo? Sign me up!), season two saw the addition of the entire 1979 Playboy Playmate lineup. In one pivotal episode that also starred Paul Williams (because hey, he was great in those Smokey and the Bandit movies...), we even got to see Judy Landers' coin slot. For 1980 network television, that was racy stuff!

I blame McGinley.

Movie Mania Monday - Dance, sugar plum faeries

Christmas is nearly upon us! I'm sick of holiday ads, I'm apparently the only person NOT offended by The Gap this year, I simply don't understand the Kindle ad, the WalMart commercial with the kids eating all of the frosting is just wrong, and I've gotten sick of watching the same three Food Network holiday specials. I missed most of Mark Morris' 'The Hard Nut', my favorite version of Tchaikovsky's composition. I'm bordering on humbugdom, but I'll forge through. I made a ham for dinner Sunday night, I've avoided every version of 'Its a Wonderful Life', and we fly to Wisconsin tomorrow afternoon. Merry Christmas to me.

Voici la quote de la semaine de Noel! Remember the rules. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Santa, either you know the quote or you don't. The prize is a Major Award and consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser):

Some children wish for things they couldn't possibly use.

Allez guessing!!!

And yes, I know this posted Sunday night. There was an incident. Just pretend you didn't notice, okay?

Random Acts of Thursday - The Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza

Happy holidays! Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's not always easy to stay upbeat during this time of year, but remember that if you're reading this, you're probably better off than 90% of the world. And you have taste, besides.

I mentioned in my last post that there might be a contest. This is open to any of my subscribed readers, since I want to make sure I'm giving credit where credit is due. And nobody likes a stalker. Singapore, I'm looking in your direction...

I considered making the contest about sharing, in a self-serving attempt to get you to bring your friends to my blog. However, we're all a happy little family here, and begging for favors from your loved ones is bad precedent.

Therefore, it's quiz time! Get out your number two pencils, kiddos, and prepare to be graded on a curve.
1) Which late Canadian actor starred in films about both Thanksgiving and Christmas, among his other works?

2) Which American actor starred in one of those films after playing a supporting role with him one year earlier?

3) What does 'Mele Kalikimaka' mean, and what film brought the Bing Crosby version of this song to a new generation of listeners?

4) Far more well-known, White Christmas is nearly synonymous with Bing Crosby. In which two films did he perform this song?

5) Name two other films where the song is used in its recorded form.

6) Identify the actor who played Adolf Eichman in one of those films, in addition to playing another Nazi in an earlier movie. (Check previous 'RAoT' posts for a hint...)

7) How many bottles of Frooney Green Eye Wash would one need in one's medicine cabinet to qualify for the beautiful silver tea service and a night on the town with Alfred Hitchcock?

8) After playing the Devil (hereinafter known as George Spiggot), in what 1987 film did Peter Cook play a far holier character?

9) In which 1985 film did Dudley Moore, Cook's frequent collaborator, play one of Santa's elves?

10) As if playing Santa Claus in that film wasn't a big enough role, what 'big' character did David Huddleston go on to play?

And now, as Blake would say, first prize is the Eldorado, second prize is the steak knives, and third prize? Third prize is you're fired.

First Prize:
Alternately, you can choose from any of the other exotic Vosges bars here.

Second Prize:
And third prize? Well, you know.
You can email your answers by clicking on the Fat Guy icon in the upper right of my page. You can put your answers in the form of a comment, but since I'm grading on correct answers first and timeliness second, posting there would give your competition the opportunity to copy from your paper. Entries will be taken through Christmas, but sadly, I'm not springing for next-day delivery, so you'll get your prize in January some time. Think of it as extending the holiday season.
Speaking of grading on curves, here's a bonus question: Which James Bond film featured a larger-than-life Anita Ekberg, though she received no billing in the credits?


Wishing you and yours all the best.

The Tide is High...

But I'm holding on. Or something like that.

I've had a little wine tonight, including a Tobin James Fat Boy...you are what you drink, you know.

Retro wine-drinking Elliott, but a fine simulation of this evening.

I feel as though I've neglected you, dear reader. Don't worry, though, I'm still here. Lots of stuff going on, so I'm sorry if you feel like you're last on my list. You're not.

Really.

Trying to coordinate a home sale, a move, and finding a new home 2300 miles away takes its toll.

I haven't posted recipes lately, because even though it's 82 degrees outside, I've moved into hibernation mode, and I'm rocking the comfort food like nobody's business. This means roasts and mashed potatoes, food that doubles as childhood memories, and cookies. Really. I've eaten an entire pumpkin pie in the last week.

My mom, sister and brother-in-law visited last weekend, spoiled the dammit beyond all fairness, and we went to see manatees and stingrays and tarpon and such down by the electric plant. It was almost relaxing enough that I forgot what my password was on Monday. Their visit was enough to wash the foul taste of last week's plumbing mishaps from my mind.

And now, in less than a week (by hours, at least) we'll be back in the homeland, the frozen tundra, the great white north: Wisconsin. Even though I'll be working for three of those days, that still means six days of freezing temps, icy sidewalks and windshields, and at least one trip to a trashy corner bar. Good times.

Because I had time off, my whole calendar is screwed up. I wrote Monday's post on Saturday, thinking I was running late. I never got around to last week's fun fact. Did you notice? I'd like to pretend you did.

And a final, caring, special holiday note courtesy of the bottle of red I had this evening. TLC, knock it the hell off.

We already tolerate the Duggars, grit our teeth through Jon and Kate. We humor you when you run not one, but two separate series involving little people. We sit idly by when you rip off 'beloved' Food Network shows. But did we really need this? Not a rhetorical question. We do not.

Call me surly, leave me coal in my stocking, don't care. I think we've had enough.

Enough reality television, that is, not wine. Can't have enough of that.

On a positive holiday note, I've been toying with a special Christmas contest for you, oh dear reader. Oh, happy meat! Oh, happy soul!

Stay tuned.

Movie Mania Monday - How can you be so obtuse?

Oy! Had a few days off, spent quality time with the family and was able to recharge a slight bit, but Monday's going to be a bear. I don't know this, I'm only assuming based on the emails I've bothered to read over the last four days, coupled with the hours I missed thanks to the Mid-Week Sewage Extravaganza that was my Tuesday and Wednesday last week.

As for you lot, you know the drill. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Jeeves, either you know the quote or you don't, and if you haven't seen the film, there's nothing to be gained by knowing a single quote. I guess what I'm saying is, if you're going to Google because you don't know the quote, take the time and go rent the movie once you identify it (or download it, or zune it, or iFilm it, or RedBox it, or do whatever the kids are calling it these days.) If you know, guess away! Your fabulous prize consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser). This week's quote:

Without a plan, there's no attack. Without attack, no victory.

Allez guessing!

I'm not a plumber, but I'll take a look...

Author's note: Your regular 'Random Act of Thursday' will not be seen today. Instead we bring you the following heartwarming tale of home maintenance.

I hate the smell of sewage in the morning. Smells like…failure.

Lori called me yesterday to tell me that the dishwasher had backwashed and flooded the sink cabinet with its leavings, thanks to some previously inept plumbing work. I touched the hose from the dishwasher to the disposal, which promptly fell off the disposal into my hand. I tapped the sink trap, which promptly dropped from the disposer and out of the wall.

We’ve been fighting with a minor clog for a while now, but I couldn’t figure out how one side of the sink would work just fine, and the other did its best to attract mosquito larvae by standing for long periods of time. I tried fixing this myself yesterday, and finally broke down and called the plumber when my 'Junior Plumber Fix-It Kit' snake couldn’t get past the resistance in the drain.

This is not the first time we’ve had to call a plumber for this sink - click here for last year’s saga.

Forty feet of professional drain snake later, the sink was draining, swirling away all Coreolus-like, and all was well with the world. I managed to scrub the stink of failure (and sewage) from my hands, cough up $175 for his time, and went to sleep thinking we were groovy.

Cut to this morning, nice hot shower, refreshing, new day has dawned, and the like. However, when I opened the shower curtain, I saw the lake where once was our bathroom floor. The water going down the shower drain was forcing its way back up through both toilets and running over the wax rings. Sixty feet of larger scale professional drain snake from the street (and $200) later, we can once again flush with minimal trepidation. Ah, the joys of home ownership.

Can’t you just hear Wagner playing in the background?

Movie Mania Monday - That's all part of the experience, honey

Ah, the holiday season is upon us. After cleaning up the yard, enduring the hell that is WalMart, and putting up the tree this weekend, I sit here writing as Lori bakes a vast variety of Christmas cookies. The house smells delicious.

However, as you read this, it's Monday morning, and time for this week's contest. Remember the rules. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Jeeves, either you know the quote or you don't. The prize is a Major Award and consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser). Voici la quote de la semaine:

You know what the Mexicans say about the Pacific? They say it has no memory.

Allez guessing!!! And go back and guess on last week's quote, still outstanding!

Fun Fact Friday - What a time to be alive!

As a 'northern boy' the fruits of Southern labor weren't a common experience. Grits, biscuits and gravy, chicken-fried anything, custard pies, all foreign to me as a child. In fact, I was 30 years old before I ever had my first Moon Pie.

The experience still lingers, though, having bought an entire box at the Cracker Barrel. It was like a s'more, but I didn't get sticky. Yeah, I'm weird that way, and that's precisely why I don't eat s'mores.

I get the impression that southern grandmothers everywhere make homemade moon pies just to pass the time while their chess, custard and pecan pies are cooling on the windowsill. However, the idea of a manufactured, packaged Moon Pie began in 1917 at the Chattanooga Bakery in Tennessee.

Earl Mitchell Sr. is credited by the bakery with the original concept. Mitchell’s story, according to their historians, indicates that when asking coal miners what they'd like for a snack, they requested something solid, filling, and 'big as the moon'.


Upon his return to the bakery, Earl noticed some of the workers dipping graham cookies into marshmallow and laying them on the window sill to harden. So they added another cookie and a generous coating of chocolate and sent them back for the workers to try. In fact, they sent MoonPie® samples around with their other salespeople, too. The response they got back was so enormous that the MoonPie® became a regular item for the bakery.

By the late 1950's, the MoonPie® had grown in popularity, so much that the bakery did not have the resources available to produce anything else.


So popular has this food icon become, several years ago Mobile, AL officials were contemplating ways to incorporate the oversized sandwich cookie into New Year's celebrations. Hey, why not?

A cousin to this beauty is the Scooter Pie, and apparently, even though it's the bastardized northern version of the original, I never had one of these, either. Now it looks like they're only available through novelty food sites, while I can just run over to my corner Marathon station and have my choice of all the Moon Pie flavors.


As some post-writing research, I think I need to run out and get the other flavors to compare, since I've only had chocolate so far. (Call me a traditionalist.) They also make banana, vanilla and orange. And apparently, since "RC Cola and a MoonPie®" seems to be a theme, I might need to get me one of them, as well. I only ever see the triple-deckers, but I've had the original and they also make 'mini' Moon Pies. I don't see the point of that.


If you live in the American southeast, you should also be watching your state and county fairs for the batter-dipped, deep-fried Moon Pie. Because how could that be a bad idea?


Finally, as if reading my posts doesn't kill your productivity already, check out the official Moon Pie website for some games! Fun for the whole family!

Random Acts of Thursday - Now with More Random!

I saw something earlier this week that triggered a potentially cherished but previously forgotten childhood memory.

Before I was the Nerdy Fat Guy, I was a nerdy fat kid, so not much has changed, apparently. Several of my friends were also poster children for the National Fudge and Bacon Coalition, despite our running around like mad fat fools much of the time, riding our bikes wherever we wanted to go. Of course, there was also a lot of time spent on lower impact activities, like Hot Wheels and Legos and other things that allowed us to remain stationary, thus reducing chafing.

The other day, I suddenly remembered that we had a club. A gang. Our own chubby wolf pack.

And just how cool were we? Our club name was The Wrenches.

All manner of predatory beasts, fast cars and wicked cool '70's television to choose from, and we called ourselves The Wrenches. I remember us drawing up a logo and everything. Believe it or not, it was a wrench.

Yep, we oozed cool originality.

Our club never actually did anything other than the same things we did before we organized. We didn't have a rule book or charter or matching jackets, because the Seventies were lean times for all of our families. Seldom were hand-me-downs going to match across families.

And now here I am, 25 or 30 years later, still friends with one of my fellow Wrenches. He's still nerdy, too, but I'm the only fat one.

Speaking of fat, how great are mashed potatoes and gravy? I made gravy last night with the beef roast drippings, and it was nearly everything I hoped it would be, with sour cream mashed potatoes. Always reminds me of my grandmother, whose pot roast is still unequalled, 18 years after she passed away. (And I just shuddered with delight to think about making gravy bread as a kid. Really, does anyone wonder why I'm plus-sized?)

And now, today's quiz (segue implied):

The following movie characters have two things in common, once based on actions, the other based on a mutual co-star. Name one.

~ Roy Neary, willing alien abductee

~ Randy Parker, fussy eater

Either answer will suffice, thank you very much.

And be sure to participate in Ask the Nerdy Fat Guy, by clicking the icon in the upper right of my page. Tell your friends! Tell your family! Tell strange people in the elevator!

And go have some mashed potatoes. You know the fat kid inside you wants some.

You can't always be a winner in Vegas

I'm old. I'm 38 going on 83. I complain. I grouse. I drive slowly. I suddenly enjoy Barry Manilow music. I forget things, like the things I want to write for you, oh dear reader.

I wanted to tell you about our mini-vacation last weekend, a beautiful time in Nevada. But it just kept deteriorating into a full-blown old-man rant about unrelated and generally unimportant things, so this is the third draft.

To sum up, first, the Bad (so you'll end on a high note, like the French resistance!):

No free rental car upgrade. Skippy would have gladly charged me 50% more for a slightly larger car, but really, I'm not going to pay more for something I don't want to drive, when I'm already getting something I don't want to drive. The exception here is if the only car they had in my class was a PT Cruiser, I do have my limits. His response to me became the title.

No hotel reservation when we arrived at the hotel around midnight.

A nearly two-hour adventure in the hotel's only open restaurant in order to get our food. He comped us, apologized profusely, but when I haven't eaten in ten hours I don't really care. Bring me my bacon and eggs. If necessary, I'll cook it myself.

DFW is a monstrous airport, just allowing them to put connecting gates further apart, I suppose. It's an impressive feat of engineering, but how can you enjoy it when you have 20 minutes to travel to another time zone in the airport?

And really, can't we join hands across America to stop people from bringing their yippy dogs and screaming children on planes? I understand that children need to get places, too, I really do. But is it really a good idea to take them on the latest flight you can possibly find? Overtired children plus overtired me will get me banned from an airline some day, I'm sure of it.

Funny how travel takes everything out of you. As nice as the core of our trip was, seeing the strip and the mountains and everything between, the periphery of a trip can really take its toll. In fact, I know this is a lousy post, but hey, they can't all be winners.

The Good:

Believe it or not, my Ford Focus. The Ford Focus with the bad wheel bearing and jangling rattle in the door. Of course, I could have taken the Rondo, but we already know how I feel about that. Truth be told, though, if I were an economy car kind of guy, and wheel bearing aside, it was a zippy little car. Not much for offroading in the desert, but zippy nevertheless. I'd actually give this car a B, for what it was.

Had a nice Thanksgiving dinner at my boss' house with his family and friends, phenomenal wine that I could never afford myself and pumpkin pie. Mmmm, pie.

Had a great drive out to Red Rock Canyon, though we failed to see any of the wild burros they claimed were roaming the land. Because Friday was their busiest day of the year, filled with people avoiding the mall, they let us use Friday's receipt for admission again on Saturday. We went back in the morning, when the crowds were gone, and it was still stunning that something so wild could be so close to civilization. That just doesn't exist here in Florida.

Drove the strip, still quite the experience, we even drove past the 'civilized' areas and on to the cliched wedding chapels and motor lodges. It's important to have perspective.

Had some great Mexican food, first thing we've had that rivalled Jalisco's that didn't come from a truck by the side of the road. Though I love me some truck tacos.

Even though it was just a long weekend trip, we got to look at houses. There's some surprisingly affordable new construction out there.

And the best part of any vacation, returning home and sleeping in my own bed, with my own pillow, nestled against my sweetie.

Dreaming of luxe rental cars, posh new houses and wild burros.

Movie Mania Monday - Never trust anyone!

Congratulations to Quote Guesser Calicobebop for last week's identification of The French Connection. Some trivia for you, because I'm nerdy that way: Popeye's Chicken and Biscuits is named for Gene Hackman's character in this movie. (And now you probably have a pretty good idea of where I'll wind up for lunch.)

Maintenant, this week's contest. I know this is posted later than normal this week, but since I'm still on Pacific time, it's barely 8 a.m. to me. Remember the rules. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Jeeves, either you know the quote or you don't. The prize is a Major Award and consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser). Voici la quote de la semaine:

This is your receipt for your husband. And this is my receipt for your receipt.

Allez guessing!!! You all have been so good with these, I need to start making them harder.

Fun Fact Friday - The Tryptophantastic Voyage

Happy Black Friday, everyone! Still feeling it today?

Perhaps you're just finishing up a leftover turkey and stuffing sandwich after slogging through the crowds at 4 am just to get a free gift with purchase. And you know I love me some sandwiches.

Perhaps you're putting up the tree, hanging lights and nursing a sore back from falling off the slippery ladder in the rain.

Maybe you're an unfortunate soul who has to shovel today.

Maybe you're even at work. In the past, I would retreat to the office, since it was the one place I knew nobody would be on the day after Thanksgiving.

Whatever your post-Thanksgiving ritual, I just wanted everyone to remember that the turkey isn't to blame for your sluggish demeanor, that nap you took on the sofa next to Uncle Ed, and your lack of desire to move one inch today.

Tryptophan, though long blamed as the culprit of our blessed drowsiness, is present in many day-to-day foods and doesn't have that much affect on us. The issue here is quantity.

Somehow, no matter how much we try, it's very easy to eat a pound of turkey, maybe some ham, a few helpings of mashed potatoes, three of Aunt Ruth's rolls with butter, and of course you need to sample all of the desserts and go back later for more turkey. And there's always room for Jell-O. And more pie. Bears don't eat this much before they hibernate. Your body is trying so hard to digest those 7000 calories, there's little bloodflow left for anything else.

But that's a long, drawn out excuse. No wonder tryptophan gets a bad rap. It's just easier to pass the blame, especially when we're all this tired.

Enjoy the rest of your hopefully long weekend, I'll be back Monday!

Random Acts of Thursday - Happy Thanksgiving

May it be a time of joy for you and yours. If you're reading this, it means you didn't chew your food long enough. I'm not here in person, but in spirit on this day of gathering, but felt it only fair to share my thanks to you, dear reader, for without you, I'd just be a crazy fat guy talking to himself.

To quote Kevin James: "Thanksgiving, man! Not a good day to be my pants."

Now log off your computer and go get a slice of pie. I'll be back on Monday, save me a piece, would you?

It's a Thanksgiving Miracle!

Not really, just sane booking. We fly out to Vegas in a few hours, and our flight change is actually ALONG THE ROUTE from Tampa to Vegas. Like someone planned it.

What are the odds?

Last time I flew Phoenix to Tampa, I changed planes in Philadelphia. Oooh, THAT'S direct. Likewise with my flight from Milwaukee to Kansas City, via Atlanta.

Click here for a map if you're confused by why this might cause me stress.

Wherever you're going, have a safe journey this weekend, even if it's just across town or across the kitchen. And feel free to vent about your worst flight connections here. Really, it will help the healing begin.

You can then be thankful tomorrow.

Well, that was absurd, let's eat dead bird

I'm fairly certain that your week will be filled with posts about turkey, dressing, pumpkin pie and football. Posts about what you're thankful for.


I'm thankful for sentences that end in prepositions, and hopeful that the Pack will trounce Detroit on Thursday. We'll be spending our holiday Griswold style, celebrating a Vegas vacation, though don't count on any damn blog posts about the damn tour, because I'm not taking the damn laptop.


Something else for which I am eternally grateful comes from a nation that doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving, a holiday best described by the Indefatigable Mjenks:


"...our celebration of Thanksgiving, which, of course, was a way of thanking the Natives of North America for helping the colonists through the first few years of life, thus allowing them a foothold on this distant shore and making it far easier to usurp their land. Thanks for teaching us that bury-the-dead-fish-next-to-the-corn-plant trick, Squanto. Here's a blanket encrusted with small pox! Now, how many of these brightly colored beads would you like for that island over there?"

The glory of which I speak, the thunder from down under, the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla, is the Mad Max series of films. Granted, Thunderdome kind of sucks, thanks to the infliction of Hollywood-style over-the-toppedness and dropping Max Rockatansky into a film where he was never intended, but it still has some merits. As a milestone, Mad Max (the original, oft-imitated) which drew some of its own insparation from the works of Kurosawa, turns 30 this year. Mad Max and the Road Warrior epitomized coolness to me in a way I couldn't understand when I was eleven. But I love that they're films you can watch repeatedly, each time noticing something new, understanding something deeper.

But now I'm torn. Seems they're somewhere in the process of making Mad Max 4. As much as I love the Max-ness of Thunderdome, taking the Aussie out of the wasteland seemed wrong. The plus here is that it's in development by George Miller, the same gent who wrote, directed and produced the first three films. The same George Miller who sacrificed his own car to the carnage when the first film was coming in over budget.

Caution: This is not art...

However, this is also the same George Miller who in recent years has given us such crash-bang action adventures as Happy Feet and Babe: Pig in the City.

I'll stay hopeful, but I still expect it to be a turkey. That way, maybe I can be thankful if it actually turns out well.

Movie Mania Monday - I thought of that one, better try again

Congratulations to Quote Guesser Emeritus Courtney, who deserves a lifetime achievement award for her unbeatable record, including last week's identification of Virutosity. Remember, there are still unsolved quotes and quizzes, kiddoes, so get crackin'!

Maintenant, this week's contest. Remember the rules. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Jeeves, either you know the quote or you don't. The prize is a Major Award and consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser). La quote de la semaine:

Hey you! Haircut! Where are you going?

Allez guessing!!!

Fun Fact Friday - Viva la Revolucion

Before we go any further, I would like to thank ReviewYourOwnBlog for such a glowing review, and welcome those of you who are joining us from that brilliant, insightful tome.

November 20th is the 99th anniversary of the Mexican Revolution. How can I not write about that?

Because today is Bo Derek's 53rd birthday, that's how. I get more hits on this post than anything else I've ever written, so I'm just feeding my target demographic.

And since Jenny and David Hanley honeymooned in Manzanillo, Mexico in 10, I can justify it as relevant.

What? I doubt there's a person in my age bracket that didn't encounter Bo Derek at some early moment in their sexual evolution. I remember the bits and pieces of 10 on late night television, and I certainly remember my father's Playboys with Bo in all of her glory.And now, 30 years after the film's release, she's still a beautiful woman. We can all hope to age so well. Born Mary Cathleen Collins in Long Beach, CA, she started modeling to buy herself a surfboard. Shortly after that, she met photographer and filmmaker John Derek, 30 years her senior. They were married in 1976 and remained so until his passing in 1998.
She's an avid horsewoman, pro-gun and pro-hunting advocate (and much better looking than Ted Nugent on his best day).


As fun facts go, I think I went the right direction on this. Sorry, Mexico, maybe next year.