Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Blast from the Past - Before the NFG rocked the F

January's a busy time around here at CDS Enterprises (A wholly-owned division of NFG Worldwide, Ltd.)  As such, I don't have the time to rant anew - at least not in print.  Being as we are four months from my cresting (and subsequently being 'over') the hill, it seems only appropriate that I share with you some crotchety posts from the past.

We're jumping into the Wayback Machine this week, courtesy of an old college friend on the Facebook.

Because if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

Me, apparently.  The more I look at this, the worse it gets.  Is gel?  Why yes, I think it is.  And those sneakers.  I'm sure that was the style, but really? 

But hey, at least I wasn't fat.  That's something, I guess.  Though NSG doesn't have quite the same ring. 

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Blast from the Past - Haiku

January's a busy time around here at CDS Enterprises (A wholly-owned division of NFG Worldwide, Ltd.)  As such, I don't have the time to rant anew - at least not in print.  Being as we are four months from my cresting (and subsequently being 'over') the hill, it seems only appropriate that I share with you some crotchety posts from the past.

This dates from early 2006, when GERD was the word...

Indigestive Haiku


i lie here awake
now my stomach tortures me
churning endlessly


i can barely breathe
the acid climbs and won't cease
all i feel is pain


why did i eat that
when I know it brings me pain
anger makes it worse


now my brain joins in
overload of stressful thoughts
my goals never met


restless endless nights
sleeplessness my constant foe
i think im going mad


pain just grows and grows
im taking purple pills now
they dont seem to help

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Blast from the Past

January's a busy time around here at CDS Enterprises (A wholly-owned division of NFG Worldwide, Ltd.)  As such, I don't have the time to rant anew - at least not in print.  Being as we are four months from my cresting (and subsequently being 'over') the hill, it seems only appropriate that I share with you some crotchety posts from the past.

I'm not editing these, except where I may have spelled something incorrectly in my angry fervor.

Originally published August, 2006
Can you pay them to feed it to you, too?

Call me cheap, call me old-fashioned, call me anti-social (and you might be right on at least one of those fronts...), but when did it become such a chore to prepare a decent meal at home that we now have stores that let you order your 'home made' meals, then arrive at a pre-determined time and throw together ingredients that someone else has purchased, cut up, organized, arranged, chilled and categorized for you?  Isn't this one step removed from picking up TGI-AppleFactory Curbside-to-Go?

One of my friends has started doing this, paying $100 for the privilege of other people's potentially unwashed hands in her dinner, just so she doesn't have to buy a few odd spices.

My spice rack IS odd spices.  I love my trip to the grocery store, and wish the conventional grocery store arrangement of produce - deli - meat/seafood - dairy was rearranged, since my trip usually includes produce - meat - produce - meat - deli - dairy, I'm always composing once I see what looks the best.  I love the adventure of planning a week's menus at a time (I've tried to schedule further, much to my schedule-breaking dismay).

Why do things have to be so complicated when they were always so simple before?  And why didn't I think of it first?  It must be a goldmine!

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Random Acts of Thursday - Picture in Picture

I remember when I bought my first television, it came with Picture in Picture technology.  Oooh, fancy.  Now I could watch two shows at once, as if my attention span needed the encouragement to swap between shows.

It seems the same is true of film.  I am sick of 'remakes'.  True, without remakes, we wouldn't have gotten Airplane!  But I don't need to see Jackie Chan and Will Smith's son remaking 'Karate Kid'.  I don't need to see Adam Sandler in 'The Longest Yard'.  Nobody needs to see Marky Mark in 'Planet of the Apes'.  And I love the Coen Brothers, but I'm so conflicted about their remake of 'True Grit'.  However, a number of films pay tribute to those who came before without imitation. 
Below are twelve films that have been flashed on screen in later movies, a way for directors to pay homage to classics without needing to lift the script and hand it to some ham to destroy while the original directors roll cartwheels in their graves. 

Your job?  Name the film that shared the original with brand new audiences.

  • Rambo
  • Casablanca
  • Rio Bravo
  • Touch of Evil
  • Goldfinger
  • Spartacus
  • Miracle on 34th Street
  • Captain Blood
  • Watership Down
  • Myrt and Marge
  • It's a Wonderful Life
  • Gilda

Name two movies that feature video stores, though no actual film footage is ever seen.

Name two movies that feature fake films as part of the main film's plotline.

Name two movies that feature 'themselves' in the film.

And really, kids, I can't say it enough.  If you don't recognize these, get out and watch some more movies. 

Monday, January 3, 2011

Movie Mania Monday - Everybody's a Winner

Happy 2011, childrens, and Auld Lang Syne and all of that! 

Time to announce the winners of our second annual trivial trivia giveaway!  There was much work involved, and in the end, only three brave souls dared enter the squared circle we call the NerDome.  (We do.  Really.  I didn't just make that up.)  For those of you looking to expand your education, keep reading.

Tied for first place are Daisy and Kari, who worked their internets to the bone coming up with these answers.

Third place goes to Frank, and really, doesn't everyone win when bacon is involved?

For the curious among you, here are the preferred winning answers:

1)  Name two films that featured two future state governors.  

A)  "Batman and Robin", "Predator" and "Running Man" all starred Jesse Ventura (MN) and Ahnuld Schwartzenegger (CA).  "Predator" also starred Sonny Landham, who ran an unsuccessful campaign for governor of Kentucky, and there is currently a Facebook campaign to elect Carl "Apollo Creed" Weathers to a governorship just to make the 'Governor vs. Predator' argument.  

2)  Name another that featured one future governor and a chimp.

A)  This could only be the Gipper.  Ronald Reagan, then future governor of California co-starred with a monkey in "Bedtime for Bonzo".

3)  Hal Holbrook has never been a governor.  Hal Holbrook has never been president either, but he's played two on TV as well as helping to topple a third in film.  Name two films where his good-guy role turns out to be a front, and he's exposed as the villain (Scooby-Doo style, if you will.)

A)  I underestimated this one, as Hal Holbrook seems to become the villain more often than not.  I was thinking of "Magnum Force" and "Fletch Lives", but I was also given "The Firm" as an option.  Sure, it's just opinion, but somehow I doubt Hal's role in "All the president's men" changed from beginning to end of the film, and it seems that he was an asshole from the start in "Capricorn One". 

4)  Speaking of Scooby Doo (in an offhand sort of way), explain the significance of September 14, 1985 in music history.  (It has to do, marginally, with the Pointer Sisters and one of their 'upbeat' songs, if that helps.  It went to eleven.)

A)  A day that will live in infamy, this was Casey Kasem's 'Snuggles' rant, about having to do a dedication to a dead dog coming out of the Pointer Sisters song.  The rant was later edited into U2, a song by alternative band Negativland.  One would hope you're not asking what this has to do with Scooby Doo.  If you are, go check out Casey's IMDB page.  I'm not giving you a link, that just encourages your laziness.

5)  Also on that day, one of the greatest premieres in all of television occurred, that being "The Golden Girls".  The theme song was originally released by Andrew Gold in 1978.  Name two films to feature Gold's previous hit, 'Lonely Boy'.

A)  Both "Boogie Nights" and "The Water Boy" included this tune on their soundtracks.

6)  Now that you're all sexed up thinking about the television show mentioned above, maybe thinking about baseball would help.  Who followed Jimmy Blake to the plate, possibly in Massachusetts but just as possibly in California, depending upon who you believe?

A)  Jimmy Blake was second at bat, right before Casey in "Casey at the Bat: A Ballad of the Republic Sung in the Year 1888" by Ernest Thayer.

7 & 8)  Speaking of geography, how far is Winnipeg from Montreal?  Who told you that distance?

A)  While driving distances would be 1470 or 1711 miles depending upon your route, we weren't talking about driving but actual geographic distance.  Currently distance from airport to airport is 1136 miles.  However, according to Mr. Memory, from Hitchcock's "The 39 Steps", the distance is actually 1148 miles.

9)  Why is that distance in miles instead of kilometers?  Burma!  (Sorry, I panicked.  I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky, you know.)

A)  "The 39 Steps" was released in 1939.  However, the metric system was not universally in use in Great Britain until 1965, and Canada until 1973.  Presently only three nations worldwide have yet to complete 'Metrication':  The United States of America, Liberia, and Burma.

10)  What do they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?

A)  Official spelling on the McDonalds website lists the 'Royal Cheese' as an offering in France.  However, were you to be a Tarantino fan, you'd know this to be the 'Royale with Cheese' of "Pulp Fiction" fame, because thanks to the Metric system, the French don't know what a quarter pound is.

11)  Finally, which actress was born on the anniversary of the Mexican Revolution, and became a global sensation after starring in one of the late Blake Edwards' films?

A)  Bo Derek starred in "Ten", and was the subject of my most popular blog post to date.

I'd like to thank everyone who participated, and I'm looking forward to far more entries on future give-aways.

And of course, what would Monday be without a movie quote to identify?  No Googling or using any other search engines on this one, either you recognize the quote or you don't.  Identify the original source of the quote, no movies within movies or characters quoting past films.  Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the peoples' fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser'.

The army couldn't afford drapes? I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!

Allez Guessing!

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