Movie Mania Monday - Dance, sugar plum faeries

Christmas is nearly upon us! I'm sick of holiday ads, I'm apparently the only person NOT offended by The Gap this year, I simply don't understand the Kindle ad, the WalMart commercial with the kids eating all of the frosting is just wrong, and I've gotten sick of watching the same three Food Network holiday specials. I missed most of Mark Morris' 'The Hard Nut', my favorite version of Tchaikovsky's composition. I'm bordering on humbugdom, but I'll forge through. I made a ham for dinner Sunday night, I've avoided every version of 'Its a Wonderful Life', and we fly to Wisconsin tomorrow afternoon. Merry Christmas to me.

Voici la quote de la semaine de Noel! Remember the rules. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Santa, either you know the quote or you don't. The prize is a Major Award and consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser):

Some children wish for things they couldn't possibly use.

Allez guessing!!!

And yes, I know this posted Sunday night. There was an incident. Just pretend you didn't notice, okay?

Random Acts of Thursday - The Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza

Happy holidays! Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's not always easy to stay upbeat during this time of year, but remember that if you're reading this, you're probably better off than 90% of the world. And you have taste, besides.

I mentioned in my last post that there might be a contest. This is open to any of my subscribed readers, since I want to make sure I'm giving credit where credit is due. And nobody likes a stalker. Singapore, I'm looking in your direction...

I considered making the contest about sharing, in a self-serving attempt to get you to bring your friends to my blog. However, we're all a happy little family here, and begging for favors from your loved ones is bad precedent.

Therefore, it's quiz time! Get out your number two pencils, kiddos, and prepare to be graded on a curve.
1) Which late Canadian actor starred in films about both Thanksgiving and Christmas, among his other works?

2) Which American actor starred in one of those films after playing a supporting role with him one year earlier?

3) What does 'Mele Kalikimaka' mean, and what film brought the Bing Crosby version of this song to a new generation of listeners?

4) Far more well-known, White Christmas is nearly synonymous with Bing Crosby. In which two films did he perform this song?

5) Name two other films where the song is used in its recorded form.

6) Identify the actor who played Adolf Eichman in one of those films, in addition to playing another Nazi in an earlier movie. (Check previous 'RAoT' posts for a hint...)

7) How many bottles of Frooney Green Eye Wash would one need in one's medicine cabinet to qualify for the beautiful silver tea service and a night on the town with Alfred Hitchcock?

8) After playing the Devil (hereinafter known as George Spiggot), in what 1987 film did Peter Cook play a far holier character?

9) In which 1985 film did Dudley Moore, Cook's frequent collaborator, play one of Santa's elves?

10) As if playing Santa Claus in that film wasn't a big enough role, what 'big' character did David Huddleston go on to play?

And now, as Blake would say, first prize is the Eldorado, second prize is the steak knives, and third prize? Third prize is you're fired.

First Prize:
Alternately, you can choose from any of the other exotic Vosges bars here.

Second Prize:
And third prize? Well, you know.
You can email your answers by clicking on the Fat Guy icon in the upper right of my page. You can put your answers in the form of a comment, but since I'm grading on correct answers first and timeliness second, posting there would give your competition the opportunity to copy from your paper. Entries will be taken through Christmas, but sadly, I'm not springing for next-day delivery, so you'll get your prize in January some time. Think of it as extending the holiday season.
Speaking of grading on curves, here's a bonus question: Which James Bond film featured a larger-than-life Anita Ekberg, though she received no billing in the credits?


Wishing you and yours all the best.

The Tide is High...

But I'm holding on. Or something like that.

I've had a little wine tonight, including a Tobin James Fat Boy...you are what you drink, you know.

Retro wine-drinking Elliott, but a fine simulation of this evening.

I feel as though I've neglected you, dear reader. Don't worry, though, I'm still here. Lots of stuff going on, so I'm sorry if you feel like you're last on my list. You're not.

Really.

Trying to coordinate a home sale, a move, and finding a new home 2300 miles away takes its toll.

I haven't posted recipes lately, because even though it's 82 degrees outside, I've moved into hibernation mode, and I'm rocking the comfort food like nobody's business. This means roasts and mashed potatoes, food that doubles as childhood memories, and cookies. Really. I've eaten an entire pumpkin pie in the last week.

My mom, sister and brother-in-law visited last weekend, spoiled the dammit beyond all fairness, and we went to see manatees and stingrays and tarpon and such down by the electric plant. It was almost relaxing enough that I forgot what my password was on Monday. Their visit was enough to wash the foul taste of last week's plumbing mishaps from my mind.

And now, in less than a week (by hours, at least) we'll be back in the homeland, the frozen tundra, the great white north: Wisconsin. Even though I'll be working for three of those days, that still means six days of freezing temps, icy sidewalks and windshields, and at least one trip to a trashy corner bar. Good times.

Because I had time off, my whole calendar is screwed up. I wrote Monday's post on Saturday, thinking I was running late. I never got around to last week's fun fact. Did you notice? I'd like to pretend you did.

And a final, caring, special holiday note courtesy of the bottle of red I had this evening. TLC, knock it the hell off.

We already tolerate the Duggars, grit our teeth through Jon and Kate. We humor you when you run not one, but two separate series involving little people. We sit idly by when you rip off 'beloved' Food Network shows. But did we really need this? Not a rhetorical question. We do not.

Call me surly, leave me coal in my stocking, don't care. I think we've had enough.

Enough reality television, that is, not wine. Can't have enough of that.

On a positive holiday note, I've been toying with a special Christmas contest for you, oh dear reader. Oh, happy meat! Oh, happy soul!

Stay tuned.

Movie Mania Monday - How can you be so obtuse?

Oy! Had a few days off, spent quality time with the family and was able to recharge a slight bit, but Monday's going to be a bear. I don't know this, I'm only assuming based on the emails I've bothered to read over the last four days, coupled with the hours I missed thanks to the Mid-Week Sewage Extravaganza that was my Tuesday and Wednesday last week.

As for you lot, you know the drill. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Jeeves, either you know the quote or you don't, and if you haven't seen the film, there's nothing to be gained by knowing a single quote. I guess what I'm saying is, if you're going to Google because you don't know the quote, take the time and go rent the movie once you identify it (or download it, or zune it, or iFilm it, or RedBox it, or do whatever the kids are calling it these days.) If you know, guess away! Your fabulous prize consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser). This week's quote:

Without a plan, there's no attack. Without attack, no victory.

Allez guessing!

I'm not a plumber, but I'll take a look...

Author's note: Your regular 'Random Act of Thursday' will not be seen today. Instead we bring you the following heartwarming tale of home maintenance.

I hate the smell of sewage in the morning. Smells like…failure.

Lori called me yesterday to tell me that the dishwasher had backwashed and flooded the sink cabinet with its leavings, thanks to some previously inept plumbing work. I touched the hose from the dishwasher to the disposal, which promptly fell off the disposal into my hand. I tapped the sink trap, which promptly dropped from the disposer and out of the wall.

We’ve been fighting with a minor clog for a while now, but I couldn’t figure out how one side of the sink would work just fine, and the other did its best to attract mosquito larvae by standing for long periods of time. I tried fixing this myself yesterday, and finally broke down and called the plumber when my 'Junior Plumber Fix-It Kit' snake couldn’t get past the resistance in the drain.

This is not the first time we’ve had to call a plumber for this sink - click here for last year’s saga.

Forty feet of professional drain snake later, the sink was draining, swirling away all Coreolus-like, and all was well with the world. I managed to scrub the stink of failure (and sewage) from my hands, cough up $175 for his time, and went to sleep thinking we were groovy.

Cut to this morning, nice hot shower, refreshing, new day has dawned, and the like. However, when I opened the shower curtain, I saw the lake where once was our bathroom floor. The water going down the shower drain was forcing its way back up through both toilets and running over the wax rings. Sixty feet of larger scale professional drain snake from the street (and $200) later, we can once again flush with minimal trepidation. Ah, the joys of home ownership.

Can’t you just hear Wagner playing in the background?