Sunday, August 23, 2009

When the legend becomes truth, print the legend

Some of you have discerned, or outright read, that I am an erstwhile novelist. Given my drive for follow-through, I started the concept of my first novel back in college, and I have about 100 pages of what once was genius, and has since degraded in my mind into insane drivel. The one constant, and one that seems to get me some odd looks from time to time, is the 'microcows' tag on all of my various web identities (just look up! There it is!).

In 1996, I attempted to dramatize the idea that standard cattle are a burden on the planet. However, I would never suggest we stop raising beef or dairy cattle, because steak, butter and cheese are some of the finest gifts we've received from the food gods. Instead, I figured if we could raise smaller animals, spaniel-sized cows, and each family would get just the amount of milk they could consume in a day. In the third-world absence of refrigeration, a cow could feed a village for a day, but nothing would go to waste.

Of course, in 1996, the Information Superhighway was Google-free, and was really just an Information Two-Lane Paved Road, with a few strip clubs and Ask Jeeves bordering the gravel shoulders. Now, in the knowledge overload of 2009 Internetitude, I can look up anything and find 200 relevant videos on YouTube, including the Jack-in-the-Box commercial I witnessed this morning:

Of course, after this added a little joy to my morning - sorrow-laden, but joy all the same - I saw there was actual, documented proof that microcows really exist, they're not just a Castro-related myth:

Sorry I can't figure out how to embed the videos here for your enjoyment, but please follow the links, at least the first one. I'm just going to go be sad that I missed my opportunity to be cutting-edge while I'm mowing my lawn.

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