Friday, August 21, 2009

Something so glorious I'm actually quoting Travolta

I'm having a good day, on the whole. I brought Ruby to work this morning, purring all the way, and didn't even hit any nasty potholes or get cut off by oblivious texters. I made a number of lights so I wasn't sitting motionless above a hot engine too many times.

Work didn't completely suck this morning, and I had one of those rare feelings of work-related adequacy.

Then, high point of the day, I went to lunch and ate my barbecue pork sandwich WHILE READING A NEWS ARTICLE ABOUT BACON! And sure, it's Pulp-Fiction-Travolta, but still, Travolta all the same:

"Bacon tastes gooooood. Pork chops taste goooood."

This is nothing compared to the list compiled by the Royal Bacon Society, the Top 10 Homer Simpson Quotes about Bacon:
  1. “(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?” “Yes” “Bacon?” “Yes Dad” Ham?” “Dad all those meats come from the same animal” “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!”"
  2. “Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.”
  3. “When you’re in my house you shall do as I do and believe who I believe in. So Bart butter up that bacon, boy.”
  4. “Is it Bacon Day?”
  5. “Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend - fudge.”
  6. “Not again! First you took away my Philly Fudgesteak. And then my Bacon Balls. Then my Whatchamachicken. You monster!”
  7. (Homer): I’ll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o’clock shadow made of bacon bits and a bacon body.(Waitress): How about I just shove a pig down your throat? [Homer looks excited] (Waitress): I was kidding. (Homer): Fine, but the bacon man lives in a bacon house! (Waitress): No he doesn’t!
  8. “[strained] You know that feeling you get when a thousand knives of fire are stabbing you in the heart? I’m having that right now…[normal] Ooh, bacon!”
  9. “Mmm … bacon”
  10. “Mmm … unexplained bacon”
Number 8 is my favorite.
The article, adopted from the Foat Wuth Stah Telegram, indicated there is actually a Texas grocer with 15 different bacons in stock. Wisconsin, West Virginia, Iowa and Texas bacon, bacon smoked with all manner of wood and wood-alternatives (i.e. corn cobs) and the Vosges Mo's Bacon Bar, a chocolate-bacon candy bar I'm sure is worth every penny of the $7 it costs.

Mark your calendars, September 5th is International Bacon Day! You still have time to rush out and buy me this for an IBD present!


Bev said...

Ugh, it's wrong that I think that sandwich looks delicious, isn't it? Shoooooot, man! Now I REALLY WANT BACON!

Oh, and I'd get you that book, but I already ordered you a Bacon Speedo for IBD. Sorry.

Samsmama said...

I could totally go for a BLT minus the T right about now. Stupid diet is killing me.

Homer J Simpson rules!

Have a fabulous weekend!

Elliott said...

What kind of diet allows the B and L but not the T?

Bacon Speedo. If I start sizzling in the Florida sun, that means flip over.

Be nice and share!

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