Thursday, February 4, 2010

Random Acts of Thursday - Socialism is for Twits

Despite claims to the contrary by my lovely wife, I am not a social creature. Sure, I've come out of the shell that cursed me through my entire childhood and a large part of my adult life, I talk to strangers as the character 'Social Butterfly Elliott' (or sometimes as 'Horst, the inappropriate German tourist'), but there are still parts of our lives that I prefer to be private.

And that's how it should be.

I will share a candid reaction with a stranger in line at the deli counter, or share my life's history with a waitress at the Waffle House, but these are still selective choices.

So I guess where I draw the line is with this Twitter thing the kids are doing these days.

Really, do you care to know the instant it happens that 'my second Guinness went down smoothly', or when I exclaim 'Mmmm, pie' five times a day? Doubtful. I don't judge, I know many of you have these 'Twitter' accounts, and many of you are datavores and need input. (Because Number Five is alive.) I just don't feel the need to be part of an instantaneous collective consciousness with millions of my fellow earthlings.

Anyone who knows me knows I generally shy away from any new technology. I still have a cassette deck in my car. I didn't own a cell phone until my last nearly fruitless attempt to find a pay phone in the city of Milwaukee, when I finally settled upon a greasy roadside receiver in a graffitied and recently torched phone booth, sucking bus fumes while trying to talk to my office. I have no iPod and I less-than-secretly hope our 20-year-old television dies so we can give up television, not so I can buy a 50-inch high-definition flat screen. Because I don't know the difference between plasma and LCD, since LCD is what made my Timex digital watch so cool back in 1983, and plasma has something to do with blood.

I can't be trusted to come up with something share-worthy even weekly on my Failbook account, do you really think I'm going to spend the time to share every thought I have, 140 characters at a time? Have you even seen my poor texting skills?

What sort of twit do you take me for?

(Especially since I am so clearly a nerd. Like this segue?)

Simple quiz this week, one question, one question only. Pass or fail, just like my typing class in high school:

What uncommon career opportunity do actors Sonny Chiba and Meredith Salenger share?

Show your work, kiddies.


Ms said...

A Japanese martial arts film star and a California native? In a trivia question featuring a picture of Mao with Mickey Mouse ears...hmm...

Mickey Mouse ears sort of preclude porno films. Therefore, I shall make an off-the-cuff guess of character voices in video games.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

They both deliver pizzas on the weekends.

I thought "Mmmm...pie" was what Twitter was invented for. Huh. Shows what I know.

Mmmm...pie!!! five times a day has to be better than anything Ashton Kutcher could say. Once.

calicobebop said...

Technology has become an acceptable way to stalk people. I do not blame you for remaining aloof - wish I could do the same but they already have my soul.

No clue on the question this week. I'm so lame! Post an easy one next time so my battered ego can recover, mmkai? Thanks!

Bev said...

Gawd, I hate Twitter. I've tried, really I have! But I just cannot get into it. I find it extremely dull on every single level.

Facebook though... Facebook I like.

Elliott said...

Ms, I don't know what kind of porn you watch, but I'm wise enough to know that mouse ears don't preclude porn, nor the other way around. And since so many actors fill in for video game voices now, that's not unique.

Mjenks, I'm sure they both have rockin' Dominos jackets, but that's not what I was thinking. And if that's what Twitter was designed for, so you can share inane banter with the whole electronic world, someone has too much time.

Calico, be strong! Perhaps part of my hesitance is that once I did give in, I'd find out once and for all that really, nobody is interested in what I have to say.

Bev, I'm doing better with Facebook, rather than updating my status quarterly. But social networking reminds me just how boring I can be.

Amber Tidd Murphy said...

twitter IS for losers.

oh, wait.

i tweet.

Happy Hour...Somewhere said...

See, I don't get this. I love Twitter and just recently deactivated my Facebook account. What everyone complains about with Twitter is what I dislike about Facebook. Everyone posts every inane event in their life on is borrrrinnnnnngg. Now Twitter is an addiction. I follow astronauts and science labs and politicians. I was following when Iran went nuts and people were tweeting what was going on. I follow authors and have actually tweeted with the authors of some fascinating books.

I personally think you would be awesome at Twitter...succinct, ironic, funny.

Elliott said...

HH, I have figured out how to deactivate most of the things I don't care about on Facebook, making it far more manageable.

And you make a fair point. If I followed the intelligentsia on Twitter, I'm sure it would feed my need for information. I may check it out in a few (dozen) months...don't want to rush into these things.

blue said...

I don't really know much about Twitter, but if you are going to try it, I'd advise you to follow any favorite musicians who might Tweet---I recently missed an opportunity to see a band I like busking on a street before a show because I don't do anything like follow Twitter.

I could also see it being of use if you're in that "gotta what you're thinking every second" stage of love/infatuation, where you will be the only person interested in your partner's "I'm thinking of my new girlfriend again" tweet-tweet or something.

Like I said, I don't really know how it all works.

Elliott said...

Lori and I spend somewhere around 23+ hours a day together. I could twit about her, but it's just easier (and less nauseating) to walk across the hall into her office and tell her.

Missing a band, though. That sucks.

Be nice and share!

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