Wednesday, September 30, 2009

It's a small world, after all.

When I was a child, my elementary school was HUGE. In my mind, the doors were four inches thick and 20 feet tall. When I visited again as an adult, somehow the building shrunk four sizes to human dimension.
I get that, because size is relative. What was a giant bottle of soda that took both hands to manage when we were kids is now three swallows.

However, when manufacturers start shrinking their products on purpose and think we'll just shrug it off, I get a little upset. The marketing genius who thought we'd pay the same price for 25% less product should have received a monster bonus, because we're suckers and well, we will. What choice do we have when everyone does it?
It started with ice cream. Let's go to the metric system, because there are, perhaps, three Americans who aren't fooled by grams versus ounces. Let's keep the lid the same, and rakishly taper the container, because it will just look like forced perspective when they're scooping.
And I was livid when the major cola manufacturers switched from the 12-pack to the 8-pack, and STILL raised the price from $3 to $4. They're slowly moving back to the 12, because America wouldn't stand for it. Same thing happened when they tried to switch our bottles from 20 ounces to 500 mL. Metric system! 500 is more then 20, right?

And now, after buying the same unnamed quilted toilet paper from up north for years, the rolls shrank almost 3/4 of an inch in width from the last package to this one. I could understand one tier getting cut down a little off, it happens. But EVERY ROLL IN THE PACKAGE? Not coincidence, not an accident, this is purposeful, malicious downsizing. Cornholio does not like this. Not one bit.
Pretty soon, we'll all feel like Andre the Giant drinking our adorable little carbonated beverages and daintily wiping, as we all run out of ice cream and potato chips long before we should. I take it back. That marketing genius shouldn't have received a monster bonus, shouldn't be celebrated in the annals of marketing history. He should be unemployed.
In Greenland.

4 comments:

Courtney said...

Canada's got bigger bottles of Crown than we do.... I posted a pix of it today just for you.

Samsmama said...

Well, since Courtney mentioned Canada I'll throw in the fact that Jamaica doesn't have Diet Coke. I'm sorry, but Coca Cola Zero is not the same thing.

And by simply adding "repeat" to the "rinse, lather" instructions, shampoo sales doubled. Now THAT is genius!

Elliott said...

Coke Zero is awful, awful stuff. Lori and I grew accustomed to 'Coca Cola Light', as it was called in other countries, but no, Diet Coke is a purely North American thing.

And even if Canada has bigger bottles, the price still makes us even, I'd think.

Bev said...

Hey, I love Coke Zero! Go figure.

I've noticed the shrinkage in regards to ice cream cartons, and we at the Bevtastic household are NOT amused.

Be nice and share!

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