Random Acts of Thursday - Chess, anyone?

Some time ago, during my Moon Pie post, I made mention of chess pie. And now I'm hungry for it, so I bought all the fixings for it. Yes, I was going to bake. Then I realized again why I don't bake.

I did not purchase pie crust. Yes, I was going to use frozen pie crust, because it's not fair to make Lori make pie crust for me, since I was going to take credit for the pie (and if she's making pie crust, I'm going to expect her famous apple cranberry pie). So no chess pie for me. It would appear there are as many recipes for chess pie as there are bakers. Some of them, like the one above, call for brown sugar, milk and vinegar. The Luby's recipe I was going to use calls for buttermilk and white sugar. Such pies originated in winter months, when fruit was scarce and burly pioneers craved something sweet.

But just because I don't have any chess pie in my belly, doesn't mean I can't create a quiz for you about chess itself. I miss playing chess. I have a set buried in the garage, still in my 'clean out the desk' box from my last job. Chess plays a factor in many great films, too.

And you, dear reader, get to identify the films where each of the following actors played a game of chess, the sweet science.

Oops, that's boxing. Another day.

I'm not above dropping hints, even when they're cryptic and self-serving. As such, actors names bearing an asterisk starred in films featured elsewhere in this blog.

Vladek Sheybal *

Matthew Broderick

Mel Brooks *

Max von Sydow *

Douglas Rain

Cleavon Little

Humphrey Bogart

I've named the actors, you give me the film in each case. If it helps to hum a little Murray Head ditty while you figure this one out, that's okay.

And if you just want to ogle, that's fine too. Just don't criticize her moves if you expect to mate.

And what is the Ponz? He's cool.

Correctamundo.

The times, they are achangin' here at Cheesehead Displacement Syndrome. Once upon a time, the concept was that blog tags would allow you, dear reader, to find those items of greatest interest to you, to neatly flag and categorize my brilliance. Click on a tag for 'bacon', for example, and you get a list of salty, smoked belly goodness.

However, much like the obvious 'Contents may be hot' label on a McDonald's coffee cup, we will be discontinuing the use of the 'nerd' tag for the duration. Because really, I feel like I've been overusing the tag, resulting in an overwhelming mountain of posts for anyone searching the nerdosphere.

As an example of my ever-present nerdiness: After reading news articles, I've come to the logical conclusion that hard work is for suckers. I live in want, a victim of our materialistic society instead of one of its beneficiaries. Where's my reward for a life of ease and shortcuts? How can I best profit from the human need for something for nothing, leveraging both humanity's greed and inherent laziness? After all, one of my co-workers just pulled in with a brand new shiny BMW 7-series this morning, while my old Buick is becoming increasingly temperamental in this un-Floridian cold snap.

As such, I'll be starting a Ponzi scheme immediately, consequences be damned. On December 26, 1919, after spending two whole years trying to earn an honest living, Carlo (or 'Charles', if you prefer) Ponzi established a firm called The Security Exchange Company. He boasted a return of 50-percent interest in 90 days, and the world wanted in on it. And who wouldn't? Paying old investors this return from funds given to him by later investors, Ponzi didn't invent the scam but instead perfected it. He took in $20 million in a few short months, equal to $222 million in current dollar values, and when he fell, six banks crumbled with him.

However, until he was arrested, Ponzi lived the high life. As did Bernie Madoff, who sustained his house of cards for decades before being called to task. And whoever this guy was.

Granted, I'm not looking for 300 cars, a pair of luxury yachts, penthouse apartments (or models) or anything of the sort. But a little taste of the easy life would be cool.

Please send large denominations, non-sequential bills, unmarked and wrapped in a leather jacket. I'll make it worth your while. Really.
Aaaaayyyyyy.

The SPITWAD* Chronicles - charter edition

Imagine that, another feature! Shocked you are, I'm sure, that I would try to foist yet another gimmick on you, my tired yet tolerant readers. But it had to be done.

Art Clokey passed away on Friday at the age of 88. This is the man who brought us decades of joy with Gumby and Pokey, and taught us morality on Sunday mornings with Davey and Goliath. If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, Mr. Clokey was the recipient of many, many compliments. From Eddie Murphy to the folks at Adult Swim, and the scores of claymation artists that appeared in the decades following Gumby, Mr. Clokey's work was highly influential.

Growing up when I did, my first encounter with 'Gumby' was the SNL sketch, and it was a while longer before I knew that Davey and Goliath came from the same mind. But that really didn't matter to me as an eight-year-old looking for anything with entertainment value on Sunday morning television, which usually landed me on the church channel, amazingly the only channel that WASN'T broadcasting a church service. "I dunno, Davey, seems suspect."

On a slightly sadder note, Miep Gies passed away last night. Miep, aged 100, was one of the brave people (along with her husband and several employees) who helped to hide Anne Frank and her family during WWII. She continued to crusade against naysayers, those who claimed the young girl's diary, as well as the holocaust as a whole, were myths, right up to her death. Right on, Miep.

And really, what kind of post would this be if I didn't segue to another Dead Wrestler Trading Card?

Bam Bam Bigelow, we hardly knew ye.

Bam Bam (formerly known as Scott) passed away in 2007 and the ripe young age of 45, only three years after his second retirement. Sadly, a man with myriad health problems who survived dumping a Harley at speed, who survived a house fire where he rescued three children, died with toxic levels of cocaine and sedatives in his system.

Stay off the drugs, kids. Really.

*Some People I Thought Were Already Dead.

Movie Mania Monday - You're dead now, so shut up!

Okay, so I like foreign film. You knew that when you met me, don't act so surprised. And maybe it was cheating on my part, to include a 'quote' that was actually part of the subtitles.

And I love subtitles. Have I mentioned that?

Something I don't like is a Cardinals win on such a blatant unnecessary roughness penalty, ignored by the officials and media alike. True, if it weren't my favorite team, I wouldn't have minded the facemask tackle, either, because that's how I roll. I'll try not to be bitter.

And two weeks in a row, we have a mysterious winner. Nothing wrong with mystery, it's nice to have new guessers, but it would be nicer if we could be properly introduced. Last week, Ms was quite astute in her identification of last week's quote from Bergman's The Seventh Seal. I loved my college film class, but since it wasn't my major, I never continued classes and had to find Bergman on my own. Thank you, cable television!

Welcome now to this week's quote! Remember the rules. First person to guess correctly the original source of the quote wins a prize - no movie characters quoting other movies. No Googling or asking Jeeves, either you know the quote or you don't. The prize is a Major Award and consists of the people's ovation and fame forever (and the title of Iron Quote-Guesser):

I won't report you this time, but next time just watch it, will ya?

Allez guessing!!!

Fun Fact Friday - I'm blushing as I write this

I found it!

Made you look.

I heard a news story earlier this week that after exhaustive study of over 1800 women, all twins, at King's College in London, they have determined that the G-Spot is a myth, physically speaking. I love the concept of this survey. It sounds like the 'plot' from some bad 70's porn movie, something the Brough twins would have had some involvement in. You can almost see the bad handlebar mustaches as you read this, I know.

The Grafenberg Spot (or G-Spot) was named in honor of Ernst Grafenberg, a German doctor who spent years studying female genetalia (who hasn't?) after starting his career as an opthamalogist. Do you suppose he was able to look his patients in the eye? Personally, I think that's quite the career shift.

I like to think the g-spot is psychological, rather than physiological. But ultimately, if something feels good, does it have to have a name?

Interestingly, there are doctors who insist they can accentuate or enhance the g-spot, and probably making a fortune doing so.

I think I got into the wrong line of work.

And as a bonus, it's time for another Dead Wrestler Trading Card! Collect them all! Brag to your friends!

I figured, since we're talking about mythical sexual anatomy, why not pick someone who looks like she DEFINITELY doesn't have a g-spot. The Fabulous Moolah was a pioneer in early women's wrestling, with a career spanning four decades. And her signature finishing move was the 'School Girl', as long as we're discussing bad '70s porn plots.