Tuesday, August 24, 2010

An observation

I'm not sure if you see the recent crackdown on condiment abuse in your neighborhood, but in mine they've grown quite serious.  There is an allowable 'nugget-to-sauce' ratio that cannot be breached.  Want barbecue AND honey mustard?  Too bad, that'll cost extra. 

Are the youth of today getting a sugar buzz from downing sweet-and-sour shots after school, high-fructose corn syrup coursing through their veins?  Is there a rash of tomato-based meth labs spreading across the heartland of America that we can no longer have ketchup pumps in plain view?  What's next, are we to provide our name and address, photo ID's checked and double-checked if we ask for two jellies with our English muffin?  Black-market counterfeit ranch dressing dealers in the back lot of Wendy's?

Where does it end???!?!

Evenutally, I think we'll see the grocery store bagging our condiments in plain brown paper.  And I don't want to live in that world.

Unless, of course, there's some real money to be made in black market condiments.  If so, I'm there.

10 comments:

Twango said...

You would be so surprised at the number of take away condiments people will grab. At work one day, I headed to the bathroom and this woman was sitting at booth that direction. I walked past her to see ALL my condiment baskets on her table and she was dumping them into her purse. We aren't a chain, so we don't monitor that, but I so wanted to after seeing that.

Bev said...

Restaurants are getting chintzy with everything these days. A girl can't even fill her purse with Splenda without getting the side eye from the management!

Elliott said...

Twango, so glad you stopped by. Customers like that ruin it for those of us who might want a little more, and I know you're in a far better position than I to offer the restaurant's POV.

I'm not opposed to monitoring, or moderation. I don't mind having to ask for a little more. I mind having to pay.

Bev, I think the Splenda is okay...but put back those salt and pepper shakers, fake carnation and vase, and the silverware...

MJenks said...

$0.25 for a packet of sauce is ridiculous. Without it, I can't choke down your pseudo-meat nuggets, people. If you're going to charge me, I'm going to go to Kroger, buy a bottle of barbecue, and use it at home.

Asshats.

Frank Irwin said...

I'm collecting straws. Pretty soon, I'll be able to put them all together and drink a McD's shake without leaving my house.

Nej said...

My uncle's mom used to take ziplocs with her when they went out to eat. There wasn't a salt or pepper shaker that didn't need refilling when she was done. Very embarrassing, but at the same time, she was soooo cute!!!!

We used to steal huge handfuls of straws everywhere we went. The goal was to fill my car trunk with them. Then, at the end of the year, we filled some people's lockers, (and mixed in bells and bouncy balls for fun)....so that when the seniors had their final locker check, our buddies had one heck of a mess! Just stupid small town fun I suppose. :-)

Pearl said...

The little buggers. If I'm in the drive-"thru", and I've ordered french fries, would it kill them to give me ketchup with them?

Huh?

Oh, you've got me riled, now...

Pearl

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Have you been snooping through the box in my fridge? I think I have every condiment known to man in there. Don't judge me! One day these things will be worth GOLD! You know, after the zombie apocalypse and all.

Rich Girl Red said...

I hate having to ask for ketchup. Like I don't have enough to do at the drive-thru window: yelling at my kids, changing the radio station, digging exact change out of the bottom of my purse, clearing out the cupholders to make room for the new stuff, etc.

When my grandmother died I filled up an entire large black garbage bag with assorted condiment packs, spork/napkin combos, and wet wipes she had collected over about, I don't know, say 30 years!

Daisy said...

Civilization as we know it is coming to an end, I fear.

Be nice and share!

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