Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Let the awkward commence!

Ah, I can feel the awkward wash over me like a light spring rain. It's been quite the weekend in Cheesehead Displacement land, kiddies!

I may have implied, in Sunday's dinner recipe post, that perhaps Australia is not exactly the fine purveyor of wines they like to believe themselves to be. I just might have posted a link to Monty Python's 'Australian Table Wine' sketch. I may even have chuckled at the thought of 'this is a wine suitable for hand-to-hand combat'. I disparaged one vineyard in particular, as I was not pleased with the bottle I had.

And the winemaker called me on it. Well, not called, but they did leave a very polite and apologetic comment on the post, while informing me that I was drinking their wine incorrectly.

I feel bad. I never want to be the one to belittle one's life's work, unless you happen to be this guy:
After all, not everyone's taste is the same.

Also awkward, I felt compelled to compliment another blogger last week, he'd put a lot of work into a beautiful chopper, and since I'd want someone to tell me what they thought of my work, I felt it only proper to convey my appreciation in kind.

However, since the blogger is from Japan, and the blog itself in Japanese, I had to fall back on a translation tool to give me something to cut and paste. Since then, most of my Google banner ads have been in Japanese. I've begun to correspond with another Japanese biker, and while he's informed me I can write to him in English, this only deepens my awkward feeling, when I think my translations must have been so awful, he'd rather fight his way through a non-native language than let me butcher his.

I feel bad about this, but given as he's continued to correspond in English, I can only hope for good things to come of it.

Speaking of good things coming, the winning-est awkward moment of the month goes to that girl in the car next to us at the light last night. Nothing like sitting stopped at a light, looking around, and then finding myself staring at a girl's butt in the window as the rest of her bobs up and down over the driver's seat. The windows were tinted, and as I was trying to decide how to point this out to Lori without simultaneously alerting my daughter in the back seat, a pickup truck on the other side of said vehicle made it very clear that my original perception was correct.

And there was much rejoicing.

Kids, Road Head is bad. It is a dangerous thing when the car is moving, and simply quite embarrassing when you decide to do such a thing at a red light, between two larger vehicles that get to look right down into your car. Do it while the car is moving, and every pothole could be the worst second of your life.
Plus, she wasn't wearing her seatbelt. And that's dangerous.

Should also note: Taku, my new friend, commiserated with me on the eternal weight gain. He also shared with me his height and weight, indicating that he's "a big eater and getting fat", at just under my height and 80% of my current mass. Thanks for that ego boost. I really do need to start working out.

25 comments:

Bev said...

You saw road head this morning?! Jeez, I feel so cheated. All I saw was an old man eating his boogers.

And go you, making Japanese friends! Kewl.

Elliott said...

Last night, actually. But yeah, so much better than booger-eating. I'll have to go back and adjust my tenses in the post, the downfall of writing late at night.

calicobebop said...

Holy Hell! Remind me to watch out for potholes...

EmcogNEATO! said...

Dude, my boyfriend lives in Milwaukee. And He. Loves. Cheese. Small world.

Elliott said...

Odds are probably pretty good that I know him, because that's how small my world is. And my wife and daughters have stopped being shocked by it.

And cheese rocks.

Cary said...

Have none of these people read The World According To Garp?

Road head is like sex in the water: overrated. RHJs work a lot better, but cruise control is a must.

tracey said...

Look at you carrying on the Olympic spirit & making friends with the Japanese. I'm so proud.

As for the bobble head - pun intended - you caught at the light, we had a similar incident occur in our church parking lot. Problem was it was a line of preschoolers & their teacher passing them on the way to the playground. Fortunately the little hobbits were too short to see what was going on & the teachers were able to re-direct before they had to explain. It was a couple having an affair & had assumed b/c it was a church no one would be there during the week. Sinners.

wv: "Chleat" - i feel like i should having something clever related to "cheating", but i got nuthin.

MJenks said...

I saw road head once (well, four or five times, but this isn't Thursday is it?). It was when I was in South Bend, and the partakers were in a truck. I just saw the girl come up from leaning in the guy's lap and had a big grin on her face before she went back for more.

I passed them and quickly turned to take an alternate route to my destination.

MtnMama said...

Damnit! Cary took my line. Oh well...

I laughed at the thought of how badly that guy must think your Japanese is.

totalblammblamm said...

Road head is sitting on Santa's lap. Super fun when it's your turn but totally lame to watch.

Love your blog quote at the top, just don't me hear you say life's taking you nowhere, angel...

PS Come back to visit soon, hey. :-)

Elliott said...

Tracey, populated or not, there's something extra wrong about doing that in a church parking lot. Worst I ever found was a stolen car.

Jenks, I don't think I'd want to be on the road next to this couple, either.

MM, I figure it has to do with sentence structure, since it seems 'off' when I translate back from Japanese.

TBB, your blog title inspired the quote, I've been humming the song all day. And I never really looked at Santa that way, though that simile will come in handy next time I venture to the mall in December...

Amber Tidd Murphy said...

I gave rhead once, er, uh nevermind.

I love that you got in trouble with the wine guys. That is so awesome.

Cool points up, up, and off the charts.

Mala said...

Wait, is our Elliott the US's version of bots with dots? Commenting on Japanese blogs with nonsensical jibberish? That's awesome!

And you were drinking wine improperly? With a funnel?

Mala said...

Just for clarification, road head is OK if your in, say, the backseat of a cab, right? Just checking.

Samsmama said...

Do people give hand jobs anymore? That seems so high school to me.

MJenks, my ex inlaws lived in South Bend. *shudder*

Is the book different than the movie version of Garp? They were sitting in a parked car, which you'd think would be very safe.

In closing, an ex of mine and I got caught having sex in his car. By the police. In a church parking lot.

KLo said...

Is it twisted that I can't stop laughing--like, tears rolling down my face laughing ... like LOLing--at this: "He'd rather fight his way through a non-native language than let me butcher his."

It's been a long day ... : )

Elliott said...

Every time I scroll past Cary's profile picture, all I can think is 'Up, up and away, in my beautiful balloon...' The Fifth Dimension rocked it.

Amber, consider my getting in trouble with the wine folks my birthday gift to you.

Mala, sadly, I'm leaving coherent comments only. Though I'm sure my efforts still seem like gibberish. As for the wine, it seems there's a 'Mollydooker Shake' that I should be practicing with their wines to properly open the fruits. If I count correctly, I'm down to about 28 bottles in the collection, I could justify a purchase of more.

And with the cab, even though you're not distracting the driver (well, not directly), he could still hit a pothole and clip some activities short.

Smama, I wish I'd known you in high school. As to your thought that the HJ is passe, there are websites that contradict that sentiment.

I've heard.

If I were getting busted in a church parking lot for that, I'd MUCH rather it be by the cops than by a bunch of inquisitive preschoolers.

Klo, I'm glad I could bring such joy to your day. That's why I'm here, apparently.

dogimo said...

Dang, dude. Your courteousness inspires. Re: that whole Mollydooker incident.

Shouldn't the bottle say "SHAKE WELL" at that point, though?

Elliott said...

Joe - for all I know, the bottle does, indeed, explain the shake. If I weren't so lazy, I'd walk to the garage at the other end of the house and check.

S.B. said...

Ok, I'm also in Japan... wondering who my company is.

Elliott said...

I am an international sensation, you know...

Here's his blog:

http://lowrider-mania.blogspot.com/

Nej said...

All the way on the other side of the house, eh? :-)

S.B. said...

Yep. Yokosuka, Japan with a FLEO agency.

Melissa said...

Road head is totally doable. Not like I'd know or anything.

Re. Australian wine guy. *Cringe* Way to go Elliott!

doggybloggy said...

road head - damn I love this term. I need to be reminded to come back over here this place is hilarious!

Be nice and share!

Bookmark and Share