Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Where is my flying car? I was promised flying cars!

I don't see any flying cars! 

I'm 40 years old today.  Age is just a number, nothing important as I've been an 'old man' much of my life.  But 40.  Forty.  Four-Zero.  That's 14610 days, if I include leap years (and I have, because that's how I roll.  Nerd to your mother.)  

One of my favorite websites, IMDB, lists over 4000 people born the same year as me, actors and best boys and key grips born 40 years ago.  Many famous, some that nobody's ever heard of.  And I share my birthday with the likes of Salvador Dali and Irving Berlin.  They're no slouches.  

1971 was a big year in the space race, astronauts and cosmonauts vying for supremacy of the heavens.  I wasn't yet born when Americans walked on the moon during the Apollo 14 mission.  I was alive and being adorable when we followed up with Apollo 15, but I don't really remember it.  I was alive when DB Cooper jumped from a Northwest Orient flight and into history.

We were doing that in 1971, and now?  Nothing.  Sure, there's a space station up there somewhere, waiting patiently to Skylab its way back to Earth, but are we really using it for anything?  Science is all up in our faces over alternative fuels and clean energy, but where's my robot maid, my dog-walking treadmill?  Do I need to download an iPhone app?  I don't even have an iPhone.    

As for my physical prowess, I'm not going to win a Superbowl or the Tour de France.  Can you imagine?  Especially those of you who've seen me throw a football or witnessed my first bike ride without training wheels.  Anyone who actually witnessed my face-first assault on the school track back in 8th grade isn't at all surprised that I've never become a superstar athlete. 

So, what have I been doing with myself?  I'm married to a beautiful woman who puts up with far too much of my nerdilated insanity.  Not that I'm asking her to stop.  I have two wonderful daughters and a lovely grandson.  I learned how to ride a motorcycle, and for anyone who was there for my early forays into the bicycle realm, that's probably pretty frightening.

In all, I've managed a pretty positive forty years by most standards.  And the future seems pretty bright.  If only I had a flying car where I could keep my shades.  Then again, I'm fairly old-school.  My razor only has two blades.  Most of my music is still on cassette, many of them taped off of the radio, and my first portable cassette recorder (like a Walkman without the name brand) required me to flip the tape over to the B-side manually.  I did walk home from school in the snow.  I've only owned a cell phone for a quarter of my life.

But being old school means I was taught that when you make a promise, you keep it.  And I was promised flying cars, so I want mine.     


MJenks said...

My students at ND always thought I bore an uncanny resemblance to Tom Green. My wife doesn't look like Drew Barrymore (pluses and minuses there), but she does fill out a tight green shirt awfully well.

Happy Birthday, from one nerd to another. I'm torn on the flying car thing. It'd be awesome and would totally help me live out those Millennium Falcon fantasies I have while cruising on the freeway home at night, but then there are idiots who share the road with me (hence the need for laser bolts firing from the depths of my imagination) who definitely do not need or deserve flying cars.

Plus, Truck Nutz on a flying car would make me weep a little more when I lay my head down at night on my pillow.

Bev said...

Happy Birthday, Elliott! You don't act a day over 17. ;)

Hope you have a groovy day. Also, "Don't sell yourself short, Judge. You're a tremendous slouch."

Sarah J. Bradley said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLIOTT! Hows come my social network, FB, didn't alert me to this?

Any whoooo, welcome to the 40's. It's not so bad, and hey, you already have that glorious crown of parenthood...a grandchild! :)

As your older, and thus obviously wiser, friend, don't let the number mess with you. It's just a number, seriously. You've got a blessed life...go with it!


Frank Irwin said...

Happy Birthday, Elliot, ya young punk.

Daisy said...

What Frank said! :D

Elliott said...

Frank, Daisy, thank you!

Sarah - The FB lets me decide whether or not to share this information, and since I wasn't sure until yesterday that I'd be celebrating, it's not on anyone's social networking calendar. Don't feel hurt.

Bev - Thanks for noticing.

Jenks - I remember you mentioning the TG thing before, somewhere. So sorry. And you make several valid points. I wouldn't want to share the skies with other flying cars, especially given the way people drive on the roads. And being a Carolinian as you are, I would imagine there are already too many truck nuts for anyone's liking.

Cary said...

Happy day, old timer. I'd take 40 right about now.

Any mention of flying cars always makes me think of Ferris Bueller's Day Off. You know the scene. Actually, I guess there are two.

Kathy said...

Worry no more. terrafugia, one of the first flying cars will be out for sale late this year. Too expensive though at 194,000. How about buying one ?

Gwen said...

I'm way late to this birthday extravaganza but HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EASY E! I hope your day was forty-tastic!

Is there any cake left?

Be nice and share!

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