Movie Mania Monday - First floor, Dungeon, assorted simple tortures.

Here's hoping you had a wonderful holiday weekend full of turkey-laden goodness.  Here's hoping you stuffed yourself silly on pie.  Odds are pretty strong that I did, and this was written before we even left for the holiday!

Last week's movie quote, identified by none other than the Mysterious Ms, was 'The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T', a rare live-action Dr. Seuss story.  (Jim Carrey is NOT live-action.  Ever.)  This one creeped me out as a kid, almost as bad as the Kid Catcher and mannequins.  (Really.  See 'The After Hours' episode of Twilight Zone and tell me that wouldn't have wigged you out as an imaginative seven-year-old.  Especially if the next time you)

As always, rules.  No Google or other web searches, you should know the quote by yourself. This should be the original source of the quote as well, no characters quoting other movies, and certainly no movies within movies. Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the people's fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser', along with all associated accolades. Now, onto the quote of the week:

Have you been sexually molested yet?  Because I can circle the block.   

Allez guessing!

Random Acts of Thursday - Over the River and Through the Woods

We were never big on the extended-family holiday when I was a kid.  However, my most memorable Thanksgiving is, in fact, one where we went to my grandmother's house.  That was a tough trek, probably 10 or 12 stairs up to her apartment from ours.  Phew! 

Despite her sweet tooth, my sister was not fond of candied yams.  She jokingly shoved the lock closed on the oven while they were baking, and because of the heat, the oven elected to stay locked for about four hours.  Sarah was quite pleased with herself that evening, to be sure.  Me, not so much.

As you're reading this, we have hopefully completed the 500-mile journey back to Wisconsin to be with family and gorge ourselves on turkey and pie.  I realize that some of you have arduous commutes to your family homes for the holiday as well, and as such thought we'd celebrate Grandma, Nana, Oma, Granny, Gramma or whatever you happened to call your female ancestors.  The actresses listed below have all portrayed a grandmother on the big screen, some more than once.  Identify the films in which each of these women played a grandmotherly role.

• Katherine Hepburn
• Sandy Martin
• Cloris Leachman
• Anne Bancroft
• Sylvia Sidney
• Carol Kane
• Billie Bird
• Diane Ladd
• Holland Taylor
• Maureen Stapleton
• Eileen Ryan

Show your work, kids!  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. 

Extra credit?  Name two other songs besides the one hinted at in the title that also talk about Grandma.

Movie Mania Monday - Don't call me Shirley

It's been quite the journey this past week, kids.  Who knew car batteries could be so expensive, or so heavy?  I could make some vague dark matter jokes that only the sci-fi geeks among us would understand, but I won't bother.

As a result of my dead car in the driveway on a day I was scheduled to drive to West Virginia, I had to rent a car.  That's right kids, not only do you get a movie quote to guess upon, but you get a coveted Rental Car Review!

I have mixed feelings about Ford products.  You may have realized that here or here or here.  You may also have heard me refer to Ford Explorers as 'Exploders' more than once.  But since beggars shouldn't be choosers, and the local agency only had one car available, Exploder it was.  Charcoal gray with a black interior, very few options and quite plain looking.  Inconspicuous is probably good, though, and somehow driving my large car with Florida plates through rural West Virginia didn't feel like a good idea, anyway.  


The Explorer had a very non-ergonomic seat, and my butt was sore.  The headrest pitched forward at a 45-degree angle, and since I don't have scoliosis (I was tested when I was nine) that doesn't complement the natural angle of my neck.  However, for a truck equipped with four-wheel-drive, I thought it pulled in some reasonable mileage.  It was quick, confident on the winding mountain roads, and the headlamps gave me enough light to see where I was going, not something all cars can say.  Truly, if I could have fitted a GM seat and steering column to this, it would get an A+.  However, as it stands, we only get a B-.  


Staying at a historic rural inn, one that's been in operation since 1839, one would expect the food to be exceptional and authentic.  Biscuits and gravy?  Yes, please.  However, when home-made is made by someone who doesn't normally make gravy, the results are quite sad.  It was simply undercooked, runny and smelled and tasted of raw flour.  Not the thick, beautiful gravy that even I, an unabashed northern boy, can make with ease.  The only thing that rivaled my disappointment over that was the hard, pre-made biscuit. Pilsbury tube biscuits are better.  Sad, sad, sad.

Now, onto our raison d'etre.  As always, rules.  No Google or other web searches, you should know the quote by yourself. This should be the original source of the quote as well, no characters quoting other movies, and certainly no movies within movies. Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the people's fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser', along with all associated accolades. Now, onto the quote of the week:

We should always believe children. We should even believe their lies.  

Allez guessing!

Movie Mania Mercredi - knock a self a pro, Slick!

Okay, so this is a cop-out.  I apparently picked the wrong week to quit drinking, because I couldn't do something as simple as post Monday's post on Monday.  But that's okay, my eight years of French class have come in handy to bail me out here.  Oh, how I love technicalities.

Oh, I love trick questions, too.  Last week's quote, though used in the classic Airplane!, was actually a quote from Zero Hour!, the 1957 suspense film used as the basis for much of Airplane!'s storyline and dialogue.  

So there you have it, kids.  I'm hoping to return to regularly scheduled programming next week, stay tuned!

Monday Night at the Movies - Couldn't care less about the five nine I'm blowin'

As many films as I've seen through the years, it has become increasingly rare for me to see them in an actual movie theater.  Now with the DVR, I'm even less inclined to go pay $9 to sit in an uncomfortable chair while wearing pants and abstaining from alcohol.  However, my local theater is actually local now, just a few minutes up the road instead of half an hour or 28 stop lights away, and apparently Mondays offer matinee pricing all day.  I might be able to sit through a few more films if they only cost me $5.

We saw RED on Saturday, and while I hoped for more, it was still enjoyable.  And I suppose, what kind of depth of character should I expect from a comic book?  I'll take character development if they want to give it to me, but I certainly don't expect it.

It was an overwhelmingly fun movie weekend for me, besides our little outing to the theater.  Caught an old Agatha Christie suspense film yesterday morning, and followed it up with the Rodriguez/Tarantino 'Grindhouse' double-feature that I recorded off of IFC past my bedtime Saturday night.  Gory, yet amusing.  And it included a 'trailer' for Machete, with Johnny Trejo.  That trailer was made in '07, and Rodriguez has now actually made the movie.  It's on the must-see list. 

Slightly more depressing is the news that Mad Max 4 has been pushed back indefinitely.  This makes me sad since it was to be shot in the same outback hills as Mad Max 1 and 2, and I was waiting impatiently.  They've modified the Interceptor a little, but that just makes it cooler.

And we really need a new movie quote.  Since we haven't done this in months, it's only fair we review the rules, right, children?  Your goal is to guess the original source of the quote below.  No Google or other web searches, you should know the quote by yourself. This is specifically to identify the original source of the quote as well, no characters quoting other movies, and certainly no movies within movies. Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the people's fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser', along with all associated accolades. Now, onto the quote of the week:

Our survival hinges on one thing - finding someone who not only can fly this plane, but didn't have fish for dinner.
(Which is technically two things, I think, but that's how the quote reads.  Can't help it if it's wrong.) 

Allez guessing, mes enfants!