Ask the Nerdy Fat Guy - the Sequel (Return of the Fat Guy)

It's that time once again, kids!  Time for 'Ask the Nerdy Fat Guy'!  We here at CDS Enterprises have been besieged by requests for the ol' NFG to put on his answer cap and help you out of a jam!  Questions have flooded in from around the world, though we'll ignore the ones that just want gratuitous pictures of me in my boxer shorts.

Oscar A. from San Jose, CA writes:  Dear NFG - what does a rooster's (ahem) reproductive organ (ahem) look like?

Well, Oscar, I'm going to refer you to the ever popular 'How do chickens do it?' post, recently rediscovered by Muppet porn afficionados worldwide.  Damn that Rule 34.

Speaking of Muppets and the pr0n, Dougie from Vancouver, British Columbia asks:  Dear NFG - have you ever cobbled together the vague plot of a 70's adult film for the benefit of your readers?

Okay, Dougie, we're not really that kind of website.  However, I have talked about the decade of my early childhood before, and referenced a bow-chicka-bow-bow type of screenplay in my g-spot post, found here.  Grab a Molson's and give it a look-see.  Writing of a higher caliber can be found at our sister site, Crappy Unfinished Novel Time.  Sure, it's not very popular, but if the readership suddenly demands it, we can add more to the page.  Who knows, I might even finish something.

Pam from Irving, Texas writes:  Hey, NFG - is it really necessary to use such blatant filler just to maintain your readership?

Oh, Pam.  Of course it is.  Most of this blog is blatant filler.  When the queries that send people here are obviously crying out for more of my fat nerditude, I can only respond by giving readers what they so desparately crave.  That means nerdiness and gratuitious near-nudity.

Do you have a question for the Nerdy Fat Guy?  Click on the icon in the upper right-hand corner of the screen to send me an email.  No question is too obtuse, we welcome all queries.  We here at NFG Worldwide would love to make this a regular feature, and that means your questions are important to us!

A Poor Excuse

Two months to go...

For my three followers who actually read CDS for the articles, many apologies.  I've been busy, and we all know that my concept of the passage of time is foggy at best.  Recently I was reminded of just how old I'm getting when someone I don't remember posted the entire yearbook from my senior year of high school, and I was looking at the skinny, pasty-looking kid with the bad haircut.  It took me back to my past laziness, when I ended up taking my own photo a week before they were due since I never bothered to have senior portraits done. 

I feel guilty for not posting much of late.  It's been a very busy 2011 so far and often I write half a post that never gets finished.  New, completed posts are coming, though.  We here at CDS Enterprises (A Division of NFG Worldwide, Ltd) have been thinking hard, making sure nothing but the highest quality drivel is made available for your reading pleasure.

For the 95% of you who just come here looking for semi-naked pictures of celebrities (and what was up with Tatum O'Neal last month?  2800 hits on one post? Did I miss something?), continue to be disappointed.

Nah, just kidding.  I figure if Danica McKellar and Natalie Portman get me hits, how well will the CDS skyrocket to popularity with a little Diane Kruger?

Or a little more Diane Kruger...

Let's find out.

Movie Mania Monday - Everybody's a Winner

Happy 2011, childrens, and Auld Lang Syne and all of that! 

Time to announce the winners of our second annual trivial trivia giveaway!  There was much work involved, and in the end, only three brave souls dared enter the squared circle we call the NerDome.  (We do.  Really.  I didn't just make that up.)  For those of you looking to expand your education, keep reading.

Tied for first place are Daisy and Kari, who worked their internets to the bone coming up with these answers.

Third place goes to Frank, and really, doesn't everyone win when bacon is involved?

For the curious among you, here are the preferred winning answers:

1)  Name two films that featured two future state governors.  

A)  "Batman and Robin", "Predator" and "Running Man" all starred Jesse Ventura (MN) and Ahnuld Schwartzenegger (CA).  "Predator" also starred Sonny Landham, who ran an unsuccessful campaign for governor of Kentucky, and there is currently a Facebook campaign to elect Carl "Apollo Creed" Weathers to a governorship just to make the 'Governor vs. Predator' argument.  

2)  Name another that featured one future governor and a chimp.

A)  This could only be the Gipper.  Ronald Reagan, then future governor of California co-starred with a monkey in "Bedtime for Bonzo".

3)  Hal Holbrook has never been a governor.  Hal Holbrook has never been president either, but he's played two on TV as well as helping to topple a third in film.  Name two films where his good-guy role turns out to be a front, and he's exposed as the villain (Scooby-Doo style, if you will.)

A)  I underestimated this one, as Hal Holbrook seems to become the villain more often than not.  I was thinking of "Magnum Force" and "Fletch Lives", but I was also given "The Firm" as an option.  Sure, it's just opinion, but somehow I doubt Hal's role in "All the president's men" changed from beginning to end of the film, and it seems that he was an asshole from the start in "Capricorn One". 

4)  Speaking of Scooby Doo (in an offhand sort of way), explain the significance of September 14, 1985 in music history.  (It has to do, marginally, with the Pointer Sisters and one of their 'upbeat' songs, if that helps.  It went to eleven.)

A)  A day that will live in infamy, this was Casey Kasem's 'Snuggles' rant, about having to do a dedication to a dead dog coming out of the Pointer Sisters song.  The rant was later edited into U2, a song by alternative band Negativland.  One would hope you're not asking what this has to do with Scooby Doo.  If you are, go check out Casey's IMDB page.  I'm not giving you a link, that just encourages your laziness.

5)  Also on that day, one of the greatest premieres in all of television occurred, that being "The Golden Girls".  The theme song was originally released by Andrew Gold in 1978.  Name two films to feature Gold's previous hit, 'Lonely Boy'.

A)  Both "Boogie Nights" and "The Water Boy" included this tune on their soundtracks.

6)  Now that you're all sexed up thinking about the television show mentioned above, maybe thinking about baseball would help.  Who followed Jimmy Blake to the plate, possibly in Massachusetts but just as possibly in California, depending upon who you believe?

A)  Jimmy Blake was second at bat, right before Casey in "Casey at the Bat: A Ballad of the Republic Sung in the Year 1888" by Ernest Thayer.

7 & 8)  Speaking of geography, how far is Winnipeg from Montreal?  Who told you that distance?

A)  While driving distances would be 1470 or 1711 miles depending upon your route, we weren't talking about driving but actual geographic distance.  Currently distance from airport to airport is 1136 miles.  However, according to Mr. Memory, from Hitchcock's "The 39 Steps", the distance is actually 1148 miles.

9)  Why is that distance in miles instead of kilometers?  Burma!  (Sorry, I panicked.  I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky, you know.)

A)  "The 39 Steps" was released in 1939.  However, the metric system was not universally in use in Great Britain until 1965, and Canada until 1973.  Presently only three nations worldwide have yet to complete 'Metrication':  The United States of America, Liberia, and Burma.

10)  What do they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?

A)  Official spelling on the McDonalds website lists the 'Royal Cheese' as an offering in France.  However, were you to be a Tarantino fan, you'd know this to be the 'Royale with Cheese' of "Pulp Fiction" fame, because thanks to the Metric system, the French don't know what a quarter pound is.

11)  Finally, which actress was born on the anniversary of the Mexican Revolution, and became a global sensation after starring in one of the late Blake Edwards' films?

A)  Bo Derek starred in "Ten", and was the subject of my most popular blog post to date.

I'd like to thank everyone who participated, and I'm looking forward to far more entries on future give-aways.

And of course, what would Monday be without a movie quote to identify?  No Googling or using any other search engines on this one, either you recognize the quote or you don't.  Identify the original source of the quote, no movies within movies or characters quoting past films.  Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the peoples' fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser'.

The army couldn't afford drapes? I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!

Allez Guessing!

Fun Fact Friday - Shoot That Poison Arrow

First, some business.  

First, I've been unfollowed.  Perhaps it was the blatant sexism sexiness of my holiday blogs.  Perhaps whomever unfollowed is offended by the thought of Free Bacon.  Obviously they weren't of the open-minded, intelligent ilk represented by you, dear readers.


Second, on the topic of Free Bacon, Movies and Artwork (not necessarily in that order), there's still a contest to be won.  You've got until tomorrow, and right now I only have one entry with a single question answered, so there's hope for you yet.


We now return you to your regularly scheduled Fun Fact.  Note the artful use of parentheses throughout.  And not just so I could prove I can spell 'parentheses'.

Growing up in Milwaukee, with a neighbor who worked for Miller Brewing back in the day when the employees were paid in beer, I was exposed to alcohol at a young age.  (Not surprisingly, when I Google 'Lots of Beer', the first photo of someone actually drinking was proudly taken at Milwaukee's lakefront.)

Now that it's New Year's Eve, and I'm an adult, I will have a tipple or two before I toddle off to bed around 9:15.  (Hey, I'm a party animal!)  I certainly won't be driving, since yesterday's freezing rain had me sliding from the top of the lot to the bottom at the office, and I don't need a repeat of that.  Thankfully, the OfficeMax driver asked me to move my icebound car before, and not after, he slammed into the side of it with his truck.  (Not so thankfully, I'm still not sure of the damage I may have done to the car myself when I was stopped by the snowbank.) 

speaking of party animals, how about that guy with the candle in his skull?

As a child I also had a ratty, worn copy of 'Ripley's Believe it or Not!', a double-sided paperback edition, that taught me what it meant to be intoxicated: 

intoxicate - early 15c., "full of poison" (pp. adj.), from M.L. intoxicatus , pp. of intoxicare  "to poison," from L. in-  "in" + toxicare  "to poison," from toxicum  "poison" (see toxic). The verb meaning "to poison" is first attested 1520s; meaning "make drunk" first recorded 1570s (implied in intoxicated)

Specifically, Ripley stated that to be intoxicated was to be shot with a poison arrow. 

To that point, I found a shot called The Poison Arrow, and it's a perfect dare shot for your New Year's festivities:

Poison Arrow Ingredients:
1 part Lime Cordial (Rose's Lime Juice)
1 dash Grenadine
1 part Bailey’s Irish Creme

Directions: Fill up a shot glass with lime cordial and add a dash of Grenadine to the top. Now very slowly pour Baileys into the center of the shot glass until the liqueur hits the bottom of the shot. Take a straw and slowly twirl it round so the Baileys twists around the tube. Retract the straw and serve.  (Recipe and photo courtesy of OXM-UK - and yes, there are all sorts of video-game-themed alcoholic beverages out there.  Not that anyone asked.)

Don't that sound tasty?  What this fails to mention is that the lime juice will curdle the Bailey's.  Mmmm, mmm.  Chunky.

Happy New Year, kids.  Don't go messing with any arrows while you're drunk, poisoned or not.  (You'll shoot your eye out...)

Random Acts of Thursday - The Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza

Merry Christmas, kids!  Happy holidays, as well, should you not be of the Christmas ilk.  Winter is upon us and it's time once again for our annual trivial trivia giveaway!  We're currently driving to Wisconsin to be among family and friends for the holiday weekend.

Last year, Nej took top honors and in return, wrote a stellar review of her prize.  You could be next!  Just be the winner of the following scavenger hunt of facts and you could soon be the proud owner of greatness.

This year, first prize is one of a selection of fine art photographs, matted and framed, by Lori Mason Photography.  These works have a retail value of $75, but a current overstock due to our recent relocation means we can offer one of these to you to display proudly in your home or office.  There are a lot of different images, and if you win we'll send you a preview gallery to choose from.    

Second prize is your choice of classic films, all discussed at some point here at Ye Olde CDSe.




First, Leone's classic 'A Fistful of Dollars', a remake of 'Yojimbo!'.





 










Second, one of Hitchcock's pre-Hollywood films, 'The 39 Steps'.












Or, you can choose 'The Station Agent', one of my modern favorites.













Finally, third prize is that ever popular meat candy, BACON.  Just because it's third doesn't make it less important.  This year, it's Hungarian smoked bacon, enough for two beautiful BLT's or a hell of a lot of bean soup.  You could also opt for Wisconsin-made Nueske's if you'd like your bacon pre-sliced.  This stuff is great under the broiler, and has the true bacon flavor that seems to be missing from many of the store brands.  I fried some of this up to add to a cremini-cheddar risotto last weekend, good stuff.

Now, on to the quiz.  We grade on a curve here at CDS Enterprises, and some of these questions will take some work and creative thinking.  Since many of the questions relate to the previous answer, working in order might be better for all involved.

1) Name two films that featured two future state governors.

2) Name another that featured one future governor and a chimp.

3) Hal Holbrook has never been a governor.  Hal Holbrook has never been president either, but he's played two on TV as well as helping to topple a third in film.  Name two films where his good-guy role turns out to be a front, and he's exposed as the villain (Scooby-Doo style, if you will.)

4) Speaking of Scooby Doo (in an offhand sort of way), explain the significance of September 14, 1985 in music history.  (It has to do, marginally, with the Pointer Sisters and one of their 'upbeat' songs, if that helps.  It went to eleven.)

5) Also on that day, one of the greatest premieres in all of television occurred.  The theme song was originally released by Andrew Gold in 1978.  Name two films to feature Gold's previous hit, 'Lonely Boy'

6) Now that you're all sexed up thinking about the television show mentioned above, maybe thinking about baseball would help.  Who followed Jimmy Blake to the plate, possibly in Massachusetts but just as possibly in California, depending upon who you believe?

7) Speaking of geography, how far is Winnipeg from Montreal? 

8) Who told you that distance?

9) Why is that distance in miles instead of kilometers?  Burma!

(Sorry, I panicked.  I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky, you know.)

10) What do they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?

11) Finally, which actress was born on the anniversary of the Mexican Revolution, and became a global sensation after starring in one of the great films written and directed by the late Blake Edwards?

Ten questions would have been enough, but this quiz goes to eleven (like the Pointer Sisters).  Eleven answers would be impressive, eleven correct would be even better! 

To keep things fair and above-board, please email your answers here to avoid anyone using your answers to better their cause.

Winners will be announced January 1st, so get cracking!  (No pun intended, I just liked the picture...)

Movie Mania Monday - Two turtlenecks and a beer

Hey, kids!  It's been another cold week here in the O-hi-o, but it hasn't been without warm holiday tidings.  I even enjoyed some noodle kugel courtesy of the deli up the street from home.  We braved the holiday traffic over the weekend, which explains why I do most of my Christmas shopping online, and right now I feel like I could go for a cup of hot cocoa just in hopes that I could feel my fingers again.

Keep watching this space for further events, kiddoes, the Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza is celebrating it's second year, with lots of goodies in our sleigh.

However, right now, it's time for this week's movie quote.  No Googling or using any other search engines (as if anyone uses anything but Google...).  Identify the original source of the quote, no movies within movies or characters quoting past films.  Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the peoples' fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser'.

"Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks."

Allez guessing and joyeux noel, mes amis!

I know a great After Hours joint

(or...Wherein we re-enter the Valley)

Last Monday, I posted, in the midst of Movie Mania, a discussion on mannequins.  Apparently I was so scarred as a child that I never even finished my horrible remeniscense in that post, just trailed off mid-sentence-fragment. 

I don't care for mannequins.  At all.  On a scale of 1 to 10 they're just creepy and undeserving of a number less than a kerjillion. 

When I was a kid, my own vivid imagination was my worst enemy.  Watching the 'After Hours' episode of The Twilight Zone was enough to creep me out.  Add 'Westworld' to that, where Yul Brynner's face explodes.  Going to Gimbel's with my mother afterward was even worse.  I was convinced all the mannequins were just waiting to come to life and eat me if I got locked in the store overnight. 

Worse was when I worked up the courage to touch one, and her hand fell off.  Off.  In my hand.

Because several large retailers left Milwaukee during my childhood, there was also no end of dismembered mannequin bits lying around abandoned storefront displays. 

How you doin'?

Yes, I know they look little or nothing like real people.  Tell that to seven-year-old Me.  Add to that also my shyness about nudity, and not knowing where to look when the mannequin was naked, and there was no way I could have a mature, reasoned approach to the existence of mannequins. 

Damn, now that I re-read this, it's amazing I made it to adulthood as sanely as I did.  That said, I'll save the discussion of how I couldn't touch the pages in my National Geographic 'How Animals Hide' book because of the insects on them.

It might just be amazing that I made it to adulthood, period.

Random Acts of Thursday - What Knockers!

There is a time in every boy's life when he encounters his first Playboy.  Heck, his first National Geographic, for that matter.  And there are the formative films of one's youth. 

Since I refuse to grow up, any film that brings on the sexytime is a formative film of my youth.  (Though truth be told, I can't even say 'titmouse' without giggling like a schoolgirl.)

At the same time, I can remember the skies opening up for me when I got my first boombox (it was, after all, 1984) and discovered that there were other channels on the dial besides my parents' country station. 

As such, I give you this week's quiz!  I'll tell you the song, you identify the sexy and the film.  Keep in mind sexy doesn't have to be naked (though it doesn't hurt).

1) Moving in Stereo - The Cars

2) Sweet Home Alabama - Lynyrd Skynyrd

3) LaGrange - ZZ Top

4) Bolero - Ravel

5) Brand New Key - Melanie

6) Slaughter House - Powermad

7) Atomic - Sleeper

8) Sussudio - Phil Collins

I'm sure I'm missing others, feel free to add them in the comments. 

Speaking of sexy, it seems my readership has dropped off considerably.  Some might logically conclude this is because my writership has also dropped off considerably.  However, I figured it might be easier if I just posted gratuitous pictures of boobies.

Enjoy!

And my favorite...

Random Acts of Thursday - Still Old After All These Years

I am old.  What's worse, I feel old.  Until this week, I've been able to live in grand denial about my age, 39 being one of the mystical non-ages.  I ignore my crotchety old man tendencies, and still don't leave the house in shorts and black socks, I'm not perfecting a comb-over, and I rarely yell at those damn kids to stay off my lawn.

And I'm not a pop-culture junkie when it comes to celebrity news and such, not at all concerned about LiLo's 24-hour suicide watch or what Mel Gibson has to say to you, me, or the mother of his child.

But I had to shudder when I saw the most recent cover of AARP magazine.  Valerie Bertinelli looks good.  Very good.  One might have a difficult time believing she's 50.  (One might also have a difficult time believing she used to be married to Eddy Van Halen...)  She was one of my few childhood celebrity crushes, and I'd watch 'One Day At A Time' religiously, probably not understanding most of the jokes, but really, really liking Barbara.

 

These types of crushes are not people you want showing up on the cover of AARP magazine.  Not even on the swimsuit issue.

I know, you just shuddered at the thought of that issue.  Or at least I did.

AARP magazine should be featuring active seniors like Betty White, Orville Redenbacher and Morgan Freeman.

See?  This looks right.  But not Valerie Bertinelli.  Can't accept it.

Bo Derek?  Maybe, since she's been an adult the whole time I've been aware of women, but I don't see her lining up for the early bird special or wintering in Sun City, Arizona.  But Valerie?  Certainly not.  No, Valerie should remain ageless, thus allowing me to imagine that I am ageless as well, that I have all my hair and that the paunch isn't nearly as pronounced as it looks from this angle.

 

Other crushes are rapidly approaching the half-century mark as well.  Phoebe Cates? 47.  Kristy McNichol?  Almost 48.  Tatum O'Neal? Nearly 47.

I guess I just need to take this 'old age' thing one day at a time.  Maybe that swimsuit issue isn't as far out as I thought...

The Hair Apparent

Yesterday would have been Magdalena Carmen Frieda Kahlo y Calderón's 103rd birthday.  (Thank you, Google!)  And sure, she was a fantastic painter, surreal, edgy - especially for the '40's - and unapologetic.  But really, whenever you think of Frida, you think of the unibrow.  Admit it.

In particular, I always think of this painting.

Or at least I did.  It made me think of Willie Nelson.  Now I'll be fighting to keep this one out of my brain:

So it goes.

In other news of the hirsute, this guy just turned down $1 million for solving a math problem, just because he used another mathematician's work as the basis for his final solution.

In case you were worried, let me just remind you that not all mathematicians look like that.  Some of them look like this:

And even if she did rock the U.B. she'd still be hot.  AAAhhhhnd, with that picture, I have just quadrupled the number of hits this post will receive.  Don't you just love math?

Whatever floats your motorboat

We here at CDS Enterprises, a division of Worldwide NFG, try our best to make Cheesehead Displacement Syndrome a mix of culture and humor.  A place where reading makes you smarter, gives you something to think about before you go to sleep at night, and something to discuss around the water cooler, if such things actually happen.

However, it would appear that our target audience and our actual audience don't overlap.  I give you stories about how poultry reproduces, or where SkeeBall came from, educational quizzes from film and music, or a myriad of well-thought rental car reviews, and all you want is this:

Children.  The lot of you.  (Yes, this depiction is in my basement.  No, I didn't draw them.  No, I didn't label them, either.)

I get a fair amount of traffic, maybe a hundred or so hits a day.  For my little corner of the interweb, that's a big deal to me.  But when news came out that Danica McKellar was posing in lingerie again, this time for Maxim Magazine, I couldn't keep up with the hits.  Hundreds an hour from all over the world. 

Do I think any of those viewers even bothered to read the pointed article attached regarding the Erdos-Bacon number?  Doubtful.

So that's it.  Do I take this lying down, accept that people come here for the boobies and nothing else?

Of course not.  That would be selling out, cheapening our message to suit the carnivorous yearnings of a few 12-year-old boys with Internet access.

And we have more moral fiber than that.

Danica McKellar Danica McKellar Danica McKellar.

Behold, the power of cheese!

It's hard to keep a good blog down, my friends. All your well-wishing has been appreciated as we worked through the trying times of the last few days.Of course, we know how patient I am (not), and yet I actually managed almost two hours of experimentation until I was able to identify the weakest link and remove it from the equation.

We're back in business. Good thing, those news crews were wreaking havoc on my lawn.

To pay tribute to the glorious caseic delights, I felt it only proper to share with you James McIntyre's finest poem:

Ode on the Mammoth Cheese

Weight over seven thousand pounds.

We have seen thee, queen of cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.

Cows numerous as a swarm of bees,
Or as the leaves upon the trees,
It did require to make thee please.
And stand unrivalled, queen of cheese.

May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to to send you off as far as
The great world's show at Paris.

Of the youth beware of these,
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek, then songs or glees
We could not sing, oh! queen of cheese.

We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade even at noon,
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.

Who said we're an uncultured lot around these bloggy parts?

Want Pie Now

In the coming week, you will notice a distinct theme here at Cheesehead Displacement Syndrome. Next Saturday is National Pie Day, but being as nobody reads my weekend posts around here, I thought I would devote the entire week to filled-crust desserts.

This includes important tips;

Amusing web animations;

The adventures of Elliott as Baker - for my first-ever chess pie is in the oven as I write this - and Elliott the Pie-Eater, because why would I bake pie if not to eat it?

Unnecessary references to Warrant and Don McLean;

And, of course, gratuitous but tasteful nudity. Can't forget that.

Remember. Life is short, eat more pie.

Have a question about pie? Ask the Nerdy Fat Guy! If he doesn't know, he'll make something up, and isn't that better in the long run, anyway?

Random Acts of Thursday - Chess, anyone?

Some time ago, during my Moon Pie post, I made mention of chess pie. And now I'm hungry for it, so I bought all the fixings for it. Yes, I was going to bake. Then I realized again why I don't bake.

I did not purchase pie crust. Yes, I was going to use frozen pie crust, because it's not fair to make Lori make pie crust for me, since I was going to take credit for the pie (and if she's making pie crust, I'm going to expect her famous apple cranberry pie). So no chess pie for me. It would appear there are as many recipes for chess pie as there are bakers. Some of them, like the one above, call for brown sugar, milk and vinegar. The Luby's recipe I was going to use calls for buttermilk and white sugar. Such pies originated in winter months, when fruit was scarce and burly pioneers craved something sweet.

But just because I don't have any chess pie in my belly, doesn't mean I can't create a quiz for you about chess itself. I miss playing chess. I have a set buried in the garage, still in my 'clean out the desk' box from my last job. Chess plays a factor in many great films, too.

And you, dear reader, get to identify the films where each of the following actors played a game of chess, the sweet science.

Oops, that's boxing. Another day.

I'm not above dropping hints, even when they're cryptic and self-serving. As such, actors names bearing an asterisk starred in films featured elsewhere in this blog.

Vladek Sheybal *

Matthew Broderick

Mel Brooks *

Max von Sydow *

Douglas Rain

Cleavon Little

Humphrey Bogart

I've named the actors, you give me the film in each case. If it helps to hum a little Murray Head ditty while you figure this one out, that's okay.

And if you just want to ogle, that's fine too. Just don't criticize her moves if you expect to mate.

Random Acts of Thursday - The Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza

Happy holidays! Merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. It's not always easy to stay upbeat during this time of year, but remember that if you're reading this, you're probably better off than 90% of the world. And you have taste, besides.

I mentioned in my last post that there might be a contest. This is open to any of my subscribed readers, since I want to make sure I'm giving credit where credit is due. And nobody likes a stalker. Singapore, I'm looking in your direction...

I considered making the contest about sharing, in a self-serving attempt to get you to bring your friends to my blog. However, we're all a happy little family here, and begging for favors from your loved ones is bad precedent.

Therefore, it's quiz time! Get out your number two pencils, kiddos, and prepare to be graded on a curve.
1) Which late Canadian actor starred in films about both Thanksgiving and Christmas, among his other works?

2) Which American actor starred in one of those films after playing a supporting role with him one year earlier?

3) What does 'Mele Kalikimaka' mean, and what film brought the Bing Crosby version of this song to a new generation of listeners?

4) Far more well-known, White Christmas is nearly synonymous with Bing Crosby. In which two films did he perform this song?

5) Name two other films where the song is used in its recorded form.

6) Identify the actor who played Adolf Eichman in one of those films, in addition to playing another Nazi in an earlier movie. (Check previous 'RAoT' posts for a hint...)

7) How many bottles of Frooney Green Eye Wash would one need in one's medicine cabinet to qualify for the beautiful silver tea service and a night on the town with Alfred Hitchcock?

8) After playing the Devil (hereinafter known as George Spiggot), in what 1987 film did Peter Cook play a far holier character?

9) In which 1985 film did Dudley Moore, Cook's frequent collaborator, play one of Santa's elves?

10) As if playing Santa Claus in that film wasn't a big enough role, what 'big' character did David Huddleston go on to play?

And now, as Blake would say, first prize is the Eldorado, second prize is the steak knives, and third prize? Third prize is you're fired.

First Prize:
Alternately, you can choose from any of the other exotic Vosges bars here.

Second Prize:
And third prize? Well, you know.
You can email your answers by clicking on the Fat Guy icon in the upper right of my page. You can put your answers in the form of a comment, but since I'm grading on correct answers first and timeliness second, posting there would give your competition the opportunity to copy from your paper. Entries will be taken through Christmas, but sadly, I'm not springing for next-day delivery, so you'll get your prize in January some time. Think of it as extending the holiday season.
Speaking of grading on curves, here's a bonus question: Which James Bond film featured a larger-than-life Anita Ekberg, though she received no billing in the credits?


Wishing you and yours all the best.