Movie Mania Monday - 'Tis the Season!

In fact, it's been many seasons since I posted.  What can I say?  I'm easily distracted.  What with the Twitter and all, brevity is wit.  But Santa's a-comin', so let's hope you've been good boys and girls.  Assuming you have been (or assuming you'll lie and pretend to have been 'good') I give you this gift of a long-overdue post.

Christmas has already been good to me.  I have a beautiful granddaughter and we were able to celebrate on Saturday with a pork roast bigger than her.  

And I even captured a picture of the roast on my phone!  That's a minor miracle for me.

(Yes, I have plenty of pictures of the granddaughter on there, too.)

I got my grinder and sausage attachments for the KitchenAid, bratwurst here I come.

I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of my Secret Santa package, for more delicious treats.  I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of the Secret Santa package I sent, and hope my Sant-ee is as excited to receive it as I was to make it.  Mmm, jam.

And for you, kiddos, I give you a film quote to guess upon.  Or upon which to guess.  It's been a long time, so here are the rules.  No Google or Bing or other web searches, either you've seen this film or you haven't.  Winner will be extolled as the Iron Quote-Guesser, and all the appropriate fame and accolades that go along with it.  Allez guessing! 


I never pictured God with a fat gut and corset singing "My Way" at Caesar's Palace.

Random Acts of Thursday - Spy on Spy Action!

A few weeks ago we spent all our spying energies on James Bond.  Well, on Bond girls, but still. 

There are so many other spy films out there, I figured you could do with expanding your NetFlix rental list a bit.  Below are twelve spies, eleven from film and one from television.  Identify which movie or show each spy belongs to.  Remember to show your work, kids!

• Louis Salinger
• Number Six
• Joe Turner
• Harry Tasker
• Emmett Fitz-Hume
• Ethan Hunt
• Jack Ryan
• Alex Leamas
• Tom Bishop
• Chuck Barris
• Annabella Smith
• Derek Flint

Enjoy yourselves, and go back and answer the Bond quiz as well.  Never hurts.

No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to quiz!

I know quizzes normally happen on Thursdays, but it's been far too long since I've quizzed you, my childrens.  I'm here to resolve that and not make you wait another whole week.  You're excited, I can tell.

For that matter, it's also been far too long since I've entrenched myself in a Bond movie marathon.  I love the James Bond franchise, and while I'm generally a fan of the official (Eon Productions) films, there have been others made to feature 007 as well, with varying success.  I'm looking at you, Never Say Never Again....  In lieu of that, getting you to answer questions about the great and powerful Bond is some comfort.

Put on your thinking caps and get Googling, my little spylets!

• Which actor has starred in the most Bond films to date?
•  
• Which Bond character has been played by the most actors in the franchise history: M, Ernst Stavro Blofeld or Felix Leiter?
•  
• Which of those characters was played by more than one actor in a single film?
•  
• Name two actors to play a different role in a subsequent film than in their original Bond appearance.  (Check the CDS archives for this one, kiddoes!)
•  
• Of the many makes and models of car James Bond has driven, and given his history of destroying anything he drives, which car has featured in more films than any other?
•  
• What children's author wrote the screenplay for one of the film adaptations of Ian Fleming's novels?
•  
• What non-Bond film did said author screenwrite based on an Ian Fleming story?
•  
• Which film featured more actors playing Agent 007 than any other?
•  
• Of those actors, who is the only one to act in one of the 'official' Bond films? 
•  
• Who was the best Bond girl ever?  Discuss.  Unless you think it was Halle Berry, in which case you're wrong.  Even Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist exhibited better acting skills.  And by acting skills I mean acting skills.  Get your minds out of the gutter.

Remember to show your work, kids!  Spelling counts.  When you're done, check this out at LOTD.

Answers here.

Random Acts of Thursday - Wherein I bare my soul to the movie gods

Some of you may have figured out I'm a bit of a film nerd.  Some of you may recall that I keep a list of the films I've seen, which currently numbers well over 700 (and I keep finding films I forgot about seeing until they cross my path again....)  It suggests that I've seen a new movie every 2.5 weeks since birth.  An impressive waste of good time, and that doesn't count the films I've watched ten times over or more, like most of the James Bond oeuvre, 'Mad Max', any Eastwood western or Dirty Harry film, and 'The 39 Steps'.  It's a wonder I get any sleep at all.

However, this is my list o' shame, films that I want to see, or probably should see, lest I be called out on my total lack of film nerdiness.  I've seen bits and pieces of a few of these, but never start-to-finish.  And that's just sad.  Worse, even if any of these show up on IFC or AMC, I'll be forced to sit through commercials and that's not happening, kids.  Even the ol' DVR can't get me past those breaks in continuity.

Vanishing Point
Be Cool
From Dusk til Dawn
Citizen Kane (it's been saved on the DVR for months)
Natural Born Killers
Blood simple
Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?
North by Northwest
Rear Window
The African Queen
Chinatown
The Two Jakes
Evil Dead
Dawn of the Dead
Night of the Living Dead
Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
Pennies From Heaven
Paper Moon
Gypsy
The Rose

There are probably more, feel free to mock my unworthiness below.  Also, gift subscriptions to NetFlix are quite welcome, feel free to click on the 'donate' button to the right.

Random Acts of Thursday - Bad Assitude

Hollywood doesn't make actors like they used to. (Prove me wrong, kids.  Prove me wrong.)  I lived to watch 'old' movies with my father on Sundays, anything with car (or horse) chases and lots of shoot-em-up action, and wishing I was more like their characters.  I've mentioned more than once that I wish I was more bad-ass. 

Sure, there are actors who did some one-off action work among their comedic stylings (see also 'Last Man Standing'), but few men exhibited that true grit of a hard-ass like those listed below.  Pick the movie that made their mothers proud, pilgrim.

Steve McQueen
Harrison Ford
Chuck Norris 
Clint Eastwood
John Wayne
Humphrey Bogart
Sean Connery
Burt Lancaster
Charles Bronson 
Lee Marvin

Rio Bravo
Raiders of the Lost Ark
Death Wish
Bullitt
Gunfight at the OK Corral
The Big Sleep
Good Guys Wear Black
The Enforcer
The Dirty Dozen
Thunderball

Yes, some of the actors were in more than one of these films, so choose wisely.  Half of these have been on television in the last few weeks, and I watched as much of them as time would allow.  How about you?

Speaking of bad-ass, I decided we're long overdue for another ever popular Dead Wrestler Trading Card (an NFG Worldwide exclusive!)

Karl Von Hess
1919-2009

Karl Von Hess, born Frank Fakety in Michigan in 1919, made his name heading to the ring in a full-scale Nazi guise in the years following World War II.  He would enter arenas in a Waffen SS coat and a "Sieg, Heil!" salute. As a result, Von Hess was shot at, stabbed, attacked, and burned en route to becoming a white-hot heel in the late 1950s.

"Karl Von Hess was absolutely wonderful," said Ted Lewin, wrestler-turned-author and illustrator in The Pro Wrestling Hall of Fame: The Heels. "He was very special because he didn't do a heck of a lot to make people angry at him. All he had to do was kind of keep turning and looking at the audience, and the audience would boo, and then he'd turn and look at them again."

Before achieving fame (or infame), Von Hess was a lifeguard and swimming teacher, then entered the navy in World War II to serve in the Underwater Demolition Corps. Upon his discharge, he worked the carnival circuit for several years, then worked in various regional wrestling promotions before gaining national noteriety as the bad guy everyone loved to hate.

Random Acts of Thursday - No more teachers' dirty looks

I'm not sure about your neck of the woods, but the end of the school year is ripe in the Ohio air.  As such, I thought we'd give one last nod to those hallowed halls of education for the year, before ditching our good clothes in favor of swim trunks and amusing novelty tees.

I remember taking that last week easy, as most kids were done learning.  The big event was always the ceremonial locker cleaning, where items that never made it home during the school year got crammed into book bags or thrown in the trash.  Notebooks, leaky pens, that cool generic Walkman-knockoff cassette player you brought in for a class project, and in the case of one classmate, half the cafeteria's silverware.  Ah, memories.

Consider this a final exam for the Spring term, if you must.  You know I'll continue to get my nerd on year-round, but if it makes you feel better that this might be the last one for a while, so be it.  I'll give you the school, you give me the corresponding film.

Elementary Education:
Horace Green Elementary
Warren G. Harding Elementary
Welton Academy for Boys

Secondary Education:
Hemery High School
Rydell High School
Vince Lombardi High School
Westerurg High School
Shermer High School

Post-Secondary Education:
Faber College
Grand Lakes University
Pacific Tech

Make sure you do your homework on this one, I'd hate to see anyone have to repeat the class this summer.  Show your work, kids!  (And as always, this quiz goes to eleven.)

Extra credit?  One of these films featured my favorite author.  Which of his  books did he write a report on?

Random Acts of Thursday - Shhhmokin'

Other than a cigar on rare occasions, I don't smoke. I am personally put off by residual cigarette smoke. When bars went smoke-free, it was a positive change for me.



However, cigs and smoking are iconic. In old film, in song, even in early television, what would we have made of it when WC Fields showed up, a la Kojak, with lolly in hand in place of his cigar? (Or Winston Churchill, for that matter. I always get them confused. Drunk and wearing a hat? They could be brothers. Wait...WC? Winston Churchill? Hmmmm...)

Okay, that went a direction I wasn't expecting. Sorry about that. Damn brain cloud...

Now, my little quizlings, dance, dance!

1) What actor starred in a Disney film under the alias Paul Mall?


2) Name the television show that featured a character named Salem?


3) What iconic ad man did Don Johnson usurp for a 1991 film?


4) What brand of cigarettes does Bruce Willis smoke in Die Hard?


5) What about in Pulp Fiction?


6) What Acadamy-award-winning film is set in Newport, RI?


7) Name the brand mentioned by Billy Joel in an iconic 80's song.


8) What series of code phrases does James Bond use to identify a fellow agent?


9) In which film did Clint Eastwood light a match on the face of his opponent?


10) What is my favorite Kool and the Gang song? (Hint - it's featured in one of the films listed above.)
 
Bonus:  What brand did my favorite author notoriously smoke his entire life?

If you think you've got them all, check here for the answers.

I see bad movies showing...

I see trouble on the way...

Or is that dead people?  Nope, I just see bad movies.  Often.  At least more often than I should.

Despite being a movie geek, I do not watch the Oscars.  The Great and Powerful Bev does, however, from the alley behind her hotel this year.  It's not as seedy as it sounds, really.  

I have mentioned in the past that I am continually attempting to catalog the films I've watched over the years.  At present count, it seems I watch a different movie every three weeks.  Around 18 unique films a year.  That makes the assumption, of course, that I started watching films at birth.  And it doesn't take into account those movies I've watched five or ten times or more.

Surprisingly few of those films are bad.  And by bad, I mean nearly unwatchable.  Films that couldn't be improved by gratuitous nudity.  Films I will avoid on television if there's anything, including the home shopping channel, to watch instead.  And I like my television.   

Sure, some of those films were endured for the sake of our daughters, but I watched them nevertheless and I'll never get those 99 minutes back.

I only bring this up because Judge Dredd was on the teevee last Sunday.  And not only did I watch it in painful entirety, but a) it wasn't the first time I'd seen it and b) I actually used my beloved cable provider's rewind feature to catch up on parts I missed.  What might be worse?  It's entirely possible I paid money to see it the first time.

And somehow the film didn't seem any better this time through.  Great actors like Max von Sydow, Jurgen Prochnow and Joan Chen were apparently made offers they couldn't refuse, appearing in such schlock.  Rob Schneider?  Expected.  Completely expected.

Loser has to watch The Hot Chick...

And sure, everyone is allowed a clunker now and again, as long as they've made quality cinema the majority of their careers.  But somehow Sly Stallone is bordering dangerously on that bad actor lifetime achievement award.  Rocky XXVII? Lock Up?  Tango & Cash? Oscar? Rhinestone? The thespian stylings of Lieutenant Marion Cobretti?  No amount of Rocky or First Blood can undo the crapfest that is Mr. Stallone's career as a whole.

Could be worse, though.  If I hadn't subjected myself to this, my other option was Billy Madison.  And I just couldn't endure that. 

For a fifth time.

Random Acts of Thursday - Dan Aykroyd - Angel of Death?

As many of my regular readers know, I've watched a film or two in my day.  Recently, it dawned on me, while watching 'The Dark Knight', that a lot of actors have passed before their time was perhaps due.

(Okay, so a number of them pumped their bodies full of enough drugs to mellow the western hemisphere, but that's beside the point here...work with me.)

In particular, I started running down my list o' dead celebs, and it became rather apparent to me that Dan Aykroyd might be the Angel of Death.  Among his soon-to-be-dead co-stars are Chris Farley, John Candy, John Belushi, Tupac Shakur, River Phoenix, Jack Lemmon, Phil Hartman, Anna Chlumsky...wait, she's not dead.  I never saw 'My Girl', but somehow I had it in my head that she died.  Did she die in the movie, or was that Macaulay Culkin?

Anyhow.  Lots of dead folks piling up around Dan.  Not saying it's his fault, just saying that's a lot of dead people.

So this week's quiz is a little morbid, but bear with me.  Two parts to this: first, match the dead actor to the living.  Each list contains both.  With only one exception, I've tried to avoid scenarios where both actors are dead but screws fall out every day - the world's an imperfect place.  Next, identify the film which starred both actors.

An example:  Heath Ledger (B, dead) starred with Christian Bale (1, living) in 'The Dark Knight'.

A) Alicia Silverstone
B) Heath Ledger
C) Jet Li
D) Dudley Moore
E) Christina Ricci
F) Chris Farley
G) Harrison Ford
H) Sharon Tate
I) Kevin Bacon
J) Rodney Dangerfield
K) Marilyn Monroe
L) Steve Martin
M) Bruce Lee
N) John Belushi
O) Dan Aykroyd

1) Christian Bale
2) Raoul Julia
3) David Spade
4) River Phoenix
5) Tony Curtis
6) Aaliyah
7) Joe Pesci
8) John Candy
9) Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
10) Bo Derek
11) John Candy
12) Tupac Shakur
13) Brittany Murphy
14) Mia Farrow
15) Chris Penn

Simple, yes?  It's supposed to be fun, kids.  Don't kill yourself over this.

Random Acts of Thursday - Picture in Picture

I remember when I bought my first television, it came with Picture in Picture technology.  Oooh, fancy.  Now I could watch two shows at once, as if my attention span needed the encouragement to swap between shows.

It seems the same is true of film.  I am sick of 'remakes'.  True, without remakes, we wouldn't have gotten Airplane!  But I don't need to see Jackie Chan and Will Smith's son remaking 'Karate Kid'.  I don't need to see Adam Sandler in 'The Longest Yard'.  Nobody needs to see Marky Mark in 'Planet of the Apes'.  And I love the Coen Brothers, but I'm so conflicted about their remake of 'True Grit'.  However, a number of films pay tribute to those who came before without imitation. 

Below are twelve films that have been flashed on screen in later movies, a way for directors to pay homage to classics without needing to lift the script and hand it to some ham to destroy while the original directors roll cartwheels in their graves. 

Your job?  Name the film that shared the original with brand new audiences.

• Rambo
• Casablanca
• Rio Bravo
• Touch of Evil
• Goldfinger
• Spartacus
• Miracle on 34th Street
• Captain Blood
• Watership Down
• Myrt and Marge
• It's a Wonderful Life
• Gilda

Name two movies that feature video stores, though no actual film footage is ever seen.

Name two movies that feature fake films as part of the main film's plotline.

Name two movies that feature 'themselves' in the film.

And really, kids, I can't say it enough.  If you don't recognize these, get out and watch some more movies. 

Movie Mania Monday - Everybody's a Winner

Happy 2011, childrens, and Auld Lang Syne and all of that! 

Time to announce the winners of our second annual trivial trivia giveaway!  There was much work involved, and in the end, only three brave souls dared enter the squared circle we call the NerDome.  (We do.  Really.  I didn't just make that up.)  For those of you looking to expand your education, keep reading.

Tied for first place are Daisy and Kari, who worked their internets to the bone coming up with these answers.

Third place goes to Frank, and really, doesn't everyone win when bacon is involved?

For the curious among you, here are the preferred winning answers:

1)  Name two films that featured two future state governors.  

A)  "Batman and Robin", "Predator" and "Running Man" all starred Jesse Ventura (MN) and Ahnuld Schwartzenegger (CA).  "Predator" also starred Sonny Landham, who ran an unsuccessful campaign for governor of Kentucky, and there is currently a Facebook campaign to elect Carl "Apollo Creed" Weathers to a governorship just to make the 'Governor vs. Predator' argument.  

2)  Name another that featured one future governor and a chimp.

A)  This could only be the Gipper.  Ronald Reagan, then future governor of California co-starred with a monkey in "Bedtime for Bonzo".

3)  Hal Holbrook has never been a governor.  Hal Holbrook has never been president either, but he's played two on TV as well as helping to topple a third in film.  Name two films where his good-guy role turns out to be a front, and he's exposed as the villain (Scooby-Doo style, if you will.)

A)  I underestimated this one, as Hal Holbrook seems to become the villain more often than not.  I was thinking of "Magnum Force" and "Fletch Lives", but I was also given "The Firm" as an option.  Sure, it's just opinion, but somehow I doubt Hal's role in "All the president's men" changed from beginning to end of the film, and it seems that he was an asshole from the start in "Capricorn One". 

4)  Speaking of Scooby Doo (in an offhand sort of way), explain the significance of September 14, 1985 in music history.  (It has to do, marginally, with the Pointer Sisters and one of their 'upbeat' songs, if that helps.  It went to eleven.)

A)  A day that will live in infamy, this was Casey Kasem's 'Snuggles' rant, about having to do a dedication to a dead dog coming out of the Pointer Sisters song.  The rant was later edited into U2, a song by alternative band Negativland.  One would hope you're not asking what this has to do with Scooby Doo.  If you are, go check out Casey's IMDB page.  I'm not giving you a link, that just encourages your laziness.

5)  Also on that day, one of the greatest premieres in all of television occurred, that being "The Golden Girls".  The theme song was originally released by Andrew Gold in 1978.  Name two films to feature Gold's previous hit, 'Lonely Boy'.

A)  Both "Boogie Nights" and "The Water Boy" included this tune on their soundtracks.

6)  Now that you're all sexed up thinking about the television show mentioned above, maybe thinking about baseball would help.  Who followed Jimmy Blake to the plate, possibly in Massachusetts but just as possibly in California, depending upon who you believe?

A)  Jimmy Blake was second at bat, right before Casey in "Casey at the Bat: A Ballad of the Republic Sung in the Year 1888" by Ernest Thayer.

7 & 8)  Speaking of geography, how far is Winnipeg from Montreal?  Who told you that distance?

A)  While driving distances would be 1470 or 1711 miles depending upon your route, we weren't talking about driving but actual geographic distance.  Currently distance from airport to airport is 1136 miles.  However, according to Mr. Memory, from Hitchcock's "The 39 Steps", the distance is actually 1148 miles.

9)  Why is that distance in miles instead of kilometers?  Burma!  (Sorry, I panicked.  I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky, you know.)

A)  "The 39 Steps" was released in 1939.  However, the metric system was not universally in use in Great Britain until 1965, and Canada until 1973.  Presently only three nations worldwide have yet to complete 'Metrication':  The United States of America, Liberia, and Burma.

10)  What do they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?

A)  Official spelling on the McDonalds website lists the 'Royal Cheese' as an offering in France.  However, were you to be a Tarantino fan, you'd know this to be the 'Royale with Cheese' of "Pulp Fiction" fame, because thanks to the Metric system, the French don't know what a quarter pound is.

11)  Finally, which actress was born on the anniversary of the Mexican Revolution, and became a global sensation after starring in one of the late Blake Edwards' films?

A)  Bo Derek starred in "Ten", and was the subject of my most popular blog post to date.

I'd like to thank everyone who participated, and I'm looking forward to far more entries on future give-aways.

And of course, what would Monday be without a movie quote to identify?  No Googling or using any other search engines on this one, either you recognize the quote or you don't.  Identify the original source of the quote, no movies within movies or characters quoting past films.  Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the peoples' fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser'.

The army couldn't afford drapes? I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!

Allez Guessing!

The Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza - Expurgated Version

(The one without the gannet...) 

Now I understand from some of you that last Thursday's post might not be (ahem) work-appropriate.  As such, here's an image-free version so you may still win prizes without offending the Political Correctness crowd.


Should you not give a crap, click here.  Either way, since nobody's offered any answers yet, there's still plenty of time to win.

Merry Christmas, kids!  Happy holidays, as well, should you not be of the Christmas ilk.  Winter is upon us and it's time once again for our annual trivial trivia giveaway!  We're currently driving to Wisconsin to be among family and friends for the holiday weekend.

Last year, Nej took top honors and in return, wrote a stellar review of her prize.  You could be next!  Just be the winner of the following scavenger hunt of facts and you could soon be the proud owner of greatness.

This year, first prize is one of a selection of fine art photographs, matted and framed, by Lori Mason Photography.  These works have a retail value of $75, but a current overstock due to our recent relocation means we can offer one of these to you to display proudly in your home or office.  There are a lot of different images, and if you win we'll send you a preview gallery to choose from.    

Second prize is your choice of classic films, all discussed at some point here at Ye Olde CDSe.  First, Leone's classic 'A Fistful of Dollars', a remake of 'Yojimbo!'.  Second, one of Hitchcock's pre-Hollywood films, 'The 39 Steps'.  Or, you can choose 'The Station Agent', one of my modern favorites.


Finally, third prize is that ever popular meat candy, BACON.  Just because it's third doesn't make it less important.  This year, it's Hungarian smoked bacon, enough for two beautiful BLT's or a hell of a lot of bean soup.  You could also opt for Wisconsin-made Nueske's if you'd like your bacon pre-sliced.  This stuff is great under the broiler, and has the true bacon flavor that seems to be missing from many of the store brands.  I fried some of this up to add to a cremini-cheddar risotto last weekend, good stuff.

Now, on to the quiz.  We grade on a curve here at CDS Enterprises, and some of these questions will take some work and creative thinking.  Since many of the questions relate to the previous answer, working in order might be better for all involved.

1) Name two films that featured two future state governors.

2) Name another that featured one future governor and a chimp.

3) Hal Holbrook has never been a governor.  Hal Holbrook has never been president either, but he's played two on TV as well as helping to topple a third in film.  Name two films where his good-guy role turns out to be a front, and he's exposed as the villain (Scooby-Doo style, if you will.)

4) Speaking of Scooby Doo (in an offhand sort of way), explain the significance of September 14, 1985 in music history.  (It has to do, marginally, with the Pointer Sisters and one of their 'upbeat' songs, if that helps.  It went to eleven.)

5) Also on that day, one of the greatest premieres in all of television occurred.  The theme song was originally released by Andrew Gold in 1978.  Name two films to feature Gold's previous hit, 'Lonely Boy'

6) Now that you're all sexed up thinking about the television show mentioned above, maybe thinking about baseball would help.  Who followed Jimmy Blake to the plate, possibly in Massachusetts but just as possibly in California, depending upon who you believe?

7) Speaking of geography, how far is Winnipeg from Montreal? 

8) Who told you that distance?

9) Why is that distance in miles instead of kilometers?  Burma!

(Sorry, I panicked.  I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky, you know.)

10) What do they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?

11) Finally, which actress was born on the anniversary of the Mexican Revolution, and became a global sensation after starring in one of the great films written and directed by the late Blake Edwards?

Ten questions would have been enough, but this quiz goes to eleven (like the Pointer Sisters).  Eleven answers would be impressive, eleven correct would be even better! 

To keep things fair and above-board, please email your answers here to avoid anyone using your answers to better their cause. 

Winners will be announced January 1st, so get cracking!

Random Acts of Thursday - The Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza

Merry Christmas, kids!  Happy holidays, as well, should you not be of the Christmas ilk.  Winter is upon us and it's time once again for our annual trivial trivia giveaway!  We're currently driving to Wisconsin to be among family and friends for the holiday weekend.

Last year, Nej took top honors and in return, wrote a stellar review of her prize.  You could be next!  Just be the winner of the following scavenger hunt of facts and you could soon be the proud owner of greatness.

This year, first prize is one of a selection of fine art photographs, matted and framed, by Lori Mason Photography.  These works have a retail value of $75, but a current overstock due to our recent relocation means we can offer one of these to you to display proudly in your home or office.  There are a lot of different images, and if you win we'll send you a preview gallery to choose from.    

Second prize is your choice of classic films, all discussed at some point here at Ye Olde CDSe.




First, Leone's classic 'A Fistful of Dollars', a remake of 'Yojimbo!'.





 










Second, one of Hitchcock's pre-Hollywood films, 'The 39 Steps'.












Or, you can choose 'The Station Agent', one of my modern favorites.













Finally, third prize is that ever popular meat candy, BACON.  Just because it's third doesn't make it less important.  This year, it's Hungarian smoked bacon, enough for two beautiful BLT's or a hell of a lot of bean soup.  You could also opt for Wisconsin-made Nueske's if you'd like your bacon pre-sliced.  This stuff is great under the broiler, and has the true bacon flavor that seems to be missing from many of the store brands.  I fried some of this up to add to a cremini-cheddar risotto last weekend, good stuff.

Now, on to the quiz.  We grade on a curve here at CDS Enterprises, and some of these questions will take some work and creative thinking.  Since many of the questions relate to the previous answer, working in order might be better for all involved.

1) Name two films that featured two future state governors.

2) Name another that featured one future governor and a chimp.

3) Hal Holbrook has never been a governor.  Hal Holbrook has never been president either, but he's played two on TV as well as helping to topple a third in film.  Name two films where his good-guy role turns out to be a front, and he's exposed as the villain (Scooby-Doo style, if you will.)

4) Speaking of Scooby Doo (in an offhand sort of way), explain the significance of September 14, 1985 in music history.  (It has to do, marginally, with the Pointer Sisters and one of their 'upbeat' songs, if that helps.  It went to eleven.)

5) Also on that day, one of the greatest premieres in all of television occurred.  The theme song was originally released by Andrew Gold in 1978.  Name two films to feature Gold's previous hit, 'Lonely Boy'

6) Now that you're all sexed up thinking about the television show mentioned above, maybe thinking about baseball would help.  Who followed Jimmy Blake to the plate, possibly in Massachusetts but just as possibly in California, depending upon who you believe?

7) Speaking of geography, how far is Winnipeg from Montreal? 

8) Who told you that distance?

9) Why is that distance in miles instead of kilometers?  Burma!

(Sorry, I panicked.  I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky, you know.)

10) What do they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?

11) Finally, which actress was born on the anniversary of the Mexican Revolution, and became a global sensation after starring in one of the great films written and directed by the late Blake Edwards?

Ten questions would have been enough, but this quiz goes to eleven (like the Pointer Sisters).  Eleven answers would be impressive, eleven correct would be even better! 

To keep things fair and above-board, please email your answers here to avoid anyone using your answers to better their cause.

Winners will be announced January 1st, so get cracking!  (No pun intended, I just liked the picture...)

Movie Mania Monday - Two turtlenecks and a beer

Hey, kids!  It's been another cold week here in the O-hi-o, but it hasn't been without warm holiday tidings.  I even enjoyed some noodle kugel courtesy of the deli up the street from home.  We braved the holiday traffic over the weekend, which explains why I do most of my Christmas shopping online, and right now I feel like I could go for a cup of hot cocoa just in hopes that I could feel my fingers again.

Keep watching this space for further events, kiddoes, the Fun Fact Fat Guy Film Finds Foodipalooza is celebrating it's second year, with lots of goodies in our sleigh.

However, right now, it's time for this week's movie quote.  No Googling or using any other search engines (as if anyone uses anything but Google...).  Identify the original source of the quote, no movies within movies or characters quoting past films.  Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the peoples' fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser'.

"Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks."

Allez guessing and joyeux noel, mes amis!

Movie Mania Monday - Now with a title! I'm sure that helps a bit.

Oh, what a wintry day we've had.   And really, it is beautiful.


Nobody managed to identify last week's film.  Ms. Lee knows it, but she's not sharing.  (Does that mean she's getting coal for Christmas?)  Also, nobody managed to comment on my sentence fragment last week, but I'll take care of that in a post later this week.

Now onto the contest!  As always, rules.  No Google or other web searches, you should know the quote by yourself. This should be the original source of the quote as well, no characters quoting other movies, and certainly no movies within movies. Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the people's fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser', along with all associated accolades. Now, onto the quote of the week:

Oh god. I just screamed in his face.

Allez Guessing! Meanwhile, I'll be outside shoveling.

Fun Fact Friday - Bluffin' with my MacGuffin

I figured we could start off the return of Fun Fact Friday with a little story from one of the great film directors of all time, Alfred Hitchcock:

Two men are riding in a train compartment together.  One man says, “What’s that package up there in the baggage rack?”  And the other answers, “Oh, that’s the MacGuffin.”  The first one asks, “What’s a MacGuffin?”  ”Well,” the other man says, “it’s an apparatus for trapping lions in the Scottish Highlands.”  The first man says, “But there are no lions in the Scottish Highlands,” and the other one answers, “Well then, that’s no MacGuffin!”

In short, the MacGuffin is a literary device.  Unlike a red herring (like Communism, for example), the MacGuffin does not aim to mislead but instead it serves to drive the plot of a story while being unimportant of itself.  The MacGuffin puts a story into action, like Janet Leigh stealing forty grand, then leaves the story faster than you can say "Oh God, Mother!"

Hitchcock was a master of the MacGuffin, like Harry in 'The Trouble with Harry', or the original theatre scene in 'The 39 Steps', and the unnamed government secrets in 'North by Northwest'.  Also widely regarded as MacGuffins are the briefcase in 'Pulp Fiction', the Maltese Falcon in 'The Maltese Falcon', the egg salad recipe in 'What's Up, Tiger Lily?', and my favorite, the gold in 'The Good, The Bad and The Ugly'.

someone has too much time on their hands...

So remember kids, go out and drive a plot line.  Even if it turns out, in the end, you're really not important at all.

Movie Mania Monday - First floor, Dungeon, assorted simple tortures.

Here's hoping you had a wonderful holiday weekend full of turkey-laden goodness.  Here's hoping you stuffed yourself silly on pie.  Odds are pretty strong that I did, and this was written before we even left for the holiday!

Last week's movie quote, identified by none other than the Mysterious Ms, was 'The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T', a rare live-action Dr. Seuss story.  (Jim Carrey is NOT live-action.  Ever.)  This one creeped me out as a kid, almost as bad as the Kid Catcher and mannequins.  (Really.  See 'The After Hours' episode of Twilight Zone and tell me that wouldn't have wigged you out as an imaginative seven-year-old.  Especially if the next time you)

As always, rules.  No Google or other web searches, you should know the quote by yourself. This should be the original source of the quote as well, no characters quoting other movies, and certainly no movies within movies. Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the people's fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser', along with all associated accolades. Now, onto the quote of the week:

Have you been sexually molested yet?  Because I can circle the block.   

Allez guessing!

Random Acts of Thursday - Over the River and Through the Woods

We were never big on the extended-family holiday when I was a kid.  However, my most memorable Thanksgiving is, in fact, one where we went to my grandmother's house.  That was a tough trek, probably 10 or 12 stairs up to her apartment from ours.  Phew! 

Despite her sweet tooth, my sister was not fond of candied yams.  She jokingly shoved the lock closed on the oven while they were baking, and because of the heat, the oven elected to stay locked for about four hours.  Sarah was quite pleased with herself that evening, to be sure.  Me, not so much.

As you're reading this, we have hopefully completed the 500-mile journey back to Wisconsin to be with family and gorge ourselves on turkey and pie.  I realize that some of you have arduous commutes to your family homes for the holiday as well, and as such thought we'd celebrate Grandma, Nana, Oma, Granny, Gramma or whatever you happened to call your female ancestors.  The actresses listed below have all portrayed a grandmother on the big screen, some more than once.  Identify the films in which each of these women played a grandmotherly role.

• Katherine Hepburn
• Sandy Martin
• Cloris Leachman
• Anne Bancroft
• Sylvia Sidney
• Carol Kane
• Billie Bird
• Diane Ladd
• Holland Taylor
• Maureen Stapleton
• Eileen Ryan

Show your work, kids!  Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. 

Extra credit?  Name two other songs besides the one hinted at in the title that also talk about Grandma.

Movie Mania Monday - Don't call me Shirley

It's been quite the journey this past week, kids.  Who knew car batteries could be so expensive, or so heavy?  I could make some vague dark matter jokes that only the sci-fi geeks among us would understand, but I won't bother.

As a result of my dead car in the driveway on a day I was scheduled to drive to West Virginia, I had to rent a car.  That's right kids, not only do you get a movie quote to guess upon, but you get a coveted Rental Car Review!

I have mixed feelings about Ford products.  You may have realized that here or here or here.  You may also have heard me refer to Ford Explorers as 'Exploders' more than once.  But since beggars shouldn't be choosers, and the local agency only had one car available, Exploder it was.  Charcoal gray with a black interior, very few options and quite plain looking.  Inconspicuous is probably good, though, and somehow driving my large car with Florida plates through rural West Virginia didn't feel like a good idea, anyway.  


The Explorer had a very non-ergonomic seat, and my butt was sore.  The headrest pitched forward at a 45-degree angle, and since I don't have scoliosis (I was tested when I was nine) that doesn't complement the natural angle of my neck.  However, for a truck equipped with four-wheel-drive, I thought it pulled in some reasonable mileage.  It was quick, confident on the winding mountain roads, and the headlamps gave me enough light to see where I was going, not something all cars can say.  Truly, if I could have fitted a GM seat and steering column to this, it would get an A+.  However, as it stands, we only get a B-.  


Staying at a historic rural inn, one that's been in operation since 1839, one would expect the food to be exceptional and authentic.  Biscuits and gravy?  Yes, please.  However, when home-made is made by someone who doesn't normally make gravy, the results are quite sad.  It was simply undercooked, runny and smelled and tasted of raw flour.  Not the thick, beautiful gravy that even I, an unabashed northern boy, can make with ease.  The only thing that rivaled my disappointment over that was the hard, pre-made biscuit. Pilsbury tube biscuits are better.  Sad, sad, sad.

Now, onto our raison d'etre.  As always, rules.  No Google or other web searches, you should know the quote by yourself. This should be the original source of the quote as well, no characters quoting other movies, and certainly no movies within movies. Should you guess the quote correctly, you'll win the people's fame and ovation forever, along with the title of 'Iron Quote Guesser', along with all associated accolades. Now, onto the quote of the week:

We should always believe children. We should even believe their lies.  

Allez guessing!

Movie Mania Mercredi - knock a self a pro, Slick!

Okay, so this is a cop-out.  I apparently picked the wrong week to quit drinking, because I couldn't do something as simple as post Monday's post on Monday.  But that's okay, my eight years of French class have come in handy to bail me out here.  Oh, how I love technicalities.

Oh, I love trick questions, too.  Last week's quote, though used in the classic Airplane!, was actually a quote from Zero Hour!, the 1957 suspense film used as the basis for much of Airplane!'s storyline and dialogue.  

So there you have it, kids.  I'm hoping to return to regularly scheduled programming next week, stay tuned!