Showing posts with label novel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label novel. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working.

Last week, Courtney (oka WhiskeyGirl) awarded me a bloggy awardy thing. Of course, since, like Miss America, there are duties to be performed as part of receiving the award, I put off posting this.

(And unlike Miss America, nobody has sold photos of my youthful indiscretions to Bob Guccione. Thank goodness!)
I am supposed to write 7-10 facts about myself then pass the "Kreativ Blogger" award on to other favorite bloggers of mine. Yeah, good luck with that. I'm trying to gain readers, not alienate the ones I already have by boring them to death.


1) My favorite SkyMall gadget is my automatic garage door closer. I have the OCD and it wasn't uncommon for me to turn around after I got a mile down the road to go back to the house and make sure I closed the door. This gadget will close the door automatically after two minutes, but it's off right now until mowing season is officially over so I don't lock myself out of the house.


2) I'm also afraid of locking myself out of the house.


3) Even though I took eight years of conversational French, I have never had a full conversation en francais outside of those classes.


4) I've never met an olive I didn't like.


5) I have a hat exactly like the woman in the Kreativ Blogger award.


6) I am easily distracted, and unless you have my complete attention before telling me something, I probably won't remember you telling me. Ask Lori.


7) Despite the fact that I will talk to complete strangers about absolutely anything, I have horrible social anxiety when I'm not in complete control of the situation or actually need help with something.


8) I often make jokes solely for my own amusement, knowing full well other people won't always get them.


9) I finish other people's sentences and answer questions before the entire question has been asked. Again, ask Lori. This frustrates her to no end, mainly because I can't explain how I know what she was going to ask me.


10) After going to a barber religiously for most of my life (and almost weekly for 10 years) I started cutting my own hair three years ago.


Don't you feel better, more complete, at one with the world for knowing these things?


While I could never force this on anyone, it was actually quite cathartic. These are a few of the bloggers whose writing always impresses me, usually amusing and educational at the same time. Because I'm a nerd that way:

That Kind of Girl - Her concept is brilliant in its simplicity. Think outside the box, go outside the box. Report on the results. I don't know anyone else with her kind of guts.

Sarah J. Bradley - Is a phenomenal writer, whether it's her long pieces, including her upcoming novel release on April 2, 2010 (she doesn't pay me to say this, I'm just excited for her), or her daily observations. She divides her time between two blogs, but both are worth a look-see.

Mjenks the Indefatigable - Totally blowing shit up today, teaching us Latin, and usually classes up my semi-educational posts with some additional factuality.

Rochelle Bilow - Man, I love people with a passion for food, people who can evoke a mood or a meal with their words alone. Rochelle is one of those people. Check out her older stuff, too, at Sexy Girls Eat.

Yes, I read tons of other stuff, too, and enjoy it greatly. However, I don't want to overload your brainpan, we'll save others for another day. If you're curious about what else I find amusing, there's a blog crawl on the right if you scroll down, you can check out the latest and greatest.

And no, I will not share the photos of my youthful indiscretions.

But thanks for asking.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

When the legend becomes truth, print the legend

Some of you have discerned, or outright read, that I am an erstwhile novelist. Given my drive for follow-through, I started the concept of my first novel back in college, and I have about 100 pages of what once was genius, and has since degraded in my mind into insane drivel. The one constant, and one that seems to get me some odd looks from time to time, is the 'microcows' tag on all of my various web identities (just look up! There it is!).

In 1996, I attempted to dramatize the idea that standard cattle are a burden on the planet. However, I would never suggest we stop raising beef or dairy cattle, because steak, butter and cheese are some of the finest gifts we've received from the food gods. Instead, I figured if we could raise smaller animals, spaniel-sized cows, and each family would get just the amount of milk they could consume in a day. In the third-world absence of refrigeration, a cow could feed a village for a day, but nothing would go to waste.

Of course, in 1996, the Information Superhighway was Google-free, and was really just an Information Two-Lane Paved Road, with a few strip clubs and Ask Jeeves bordering the gravel shoulders. Now, in the knowledge overload of 2009 Internetitude, I can look up anything and find 200 relevant videos on YouTube, including the Jack-in-the-Box commercial I witnessed this morning:


Of course, after this added a little joy to my morning - sorrow-laden, but joy all the same - I saw there was actual, documented proof that microcows really exist, they're not just a Castro-related myth:


Sorry I can't figure out how to embed the videos here for your enjoyment, but please follow the links, at least the first one. I'm just going to go be sad that I missed my opportunity to be cutting-edge while I'm mowing my lawn.

Be nice and share!

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